What I Watched - November 1-7 2015

WHAT I WATCHED - NOVEMBER 1-7 2015:

The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? (2015) Youtube

- This is one I've been meaning to check out for a while now after reading Kevin Smith's latest autobiography, Tough Shit, a few months back. I honestly didn't know anything about this other than reading a few brief mentions about a failed Superman movie over the years. After watching this doco, I think I'm probably in the same boat as everyone else - I really, really wish Tim Burton had been allowed to make his movie with Nicolas Cage as Supes! Would it have been great? Probably not (I'm not a fan of anything non-animated that Burton has done in the last 15 years), but it would have been unique, that's for damn sure! This documentary is definitely worth checking out, whether you're a fan of superheroes or not.

The Canal (2014) Netflix

- I'm writing this a couple of weeks after I watched this, and not much about it sticks in my mind, which probably says a lot. But I do remember liking it - the acting was good and the suspense was very well done. Not really horror, more psychological thriller, but one that'll keep you guessing and interested for the whole hour and a half.

The Keep (1983) VHS

- It's rare for me to watch VHS these days, having sold off most of my collection (which numbered in the many hundreds) over the past year or so. But this is one I found hidden away in a box in my garage and I had to give it a watch before putting it up for sale - especially since it has never been released on DVD. I love, love, love this movie! Sure, some of the effects are a bit cheesy, but the Tangerine Dream score is phenomenal and director Michael Mann brings a dream-like quality to proceedings. Damn I want to see this on a decent print - is a bluray really too much to ask?

Can't Hardly Wait (1998) Netflix

- A brief excursion into romantic comedy territory. But hey, this one is actually really good - it reminds me of the 1980s John Hughes teen comedies that I grew up on. 

V for Vendetta (2005) DVD

- Remember, remember the 5th of November. And what better movie to watch on Guy Fawkes Night? I do enjoy the look of this movie, it has some stellar cinematography, as you'd hope for when a comic book is adapted to the screen. The story has never been one that really resonates with me though, unfortunately. Call me a crotchety old man, but the "V" mask has lost its impact for me due to its use by the hacking group Anonymous in real life. Still, this is a good watch.

LONG PORK DOUBLE FEATURE:

Bone Tomahawk (2015) AVI

- Boy did I love this movie! Obviously I love horror movies, and I do really enjoy westerns - the two are sadly not joined together very often in cinema. But that's now changed, because Bone Tomahawk is fantastic. Sure, it's more western than horror, but there's some genuine creepiness to the cannibal natives in this here yarn. The cinematography of the dusty, old west setting is excellent, the story is well written and the effects are top notch. But what really makes this stand out is the acting. A big thank you to whoever decided to cast Kurt Russell in the sheriff role - after the perfection ghtat is Tombstone I could watch Kurt act in westerns for the rest of my days. And the supporting cast (including The Conjuring's Patrick Wilson and a brief appearance by genre favourite Sid Haig) is great. More horror westerns please!

The Green Inferno (2015) AVI

- Ah yes, Eli Roth. The guy gets a lot of hate, but I'm not on board with that. He at least makes interesting movies, if not always great. I like to think of him as horror's answer to Quentin Tarantino (with no doubt a fraction the talent), and he's in full-on Tarantino-mode in this one. Whereas Tarantino has paid homage to the likes of blaxploitation, martial arts and spaghetti westerns in recent years, Roth chooses to make a love letter to 1970s Italian cannibal flicks. Thankfully the one thing he left out is the awful animal cruelty of those original offerings, so The Green Inferno has that going for it. Unfortunately the gore is also lacking in comparison (but still quite abundant) and there's no nudity, but there is some nice visuals (the natives in full red bodypaint are visually striking) and the acting is pretty good. You won't care about the characters, but that's beside the point in these movies I guess. Roth gets an A for effort and at least, unlike the animal-cruelty-filled 70s flicks, I can see myself watching this one again some time soon.

TUNE IN JUNE: Deadwood Season 2 (2005)

Note: Here on Shlock to the System, June is TUNE IN JUNE, which is really just an excuse for me to catch up on some TV series I've been meaning to watch for a while. But I will also be watching a number of TV movies, particularly ones from the hey-day of the TV movie, the 70s and 80s.

Deadwood Season 2 (2005)
Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Ian McShane, Molly Parker, Brad Dourif, William Sanderson, Powers Boothe, Jim Beaver
Format: DVD
I thoroughly enjoyed season 1 of Deadwood. I do love a good western and I quickly found myself enthralled with the fictional tales of life in what was a real life mining camp in the days of Wild Bill Hickock (who featured in the first season).

Season 2 picks up where the first season left off. Life in Deadwood is a constant gamble. I haven't yet seen Seth McFarlane's comedy A Million Ways to Die in the West, but the concept could easily apply to life (and death) in Deadwood. If you're not cut down by a bullet fired in anger, then there are a thousand illnesses waiting to knock you over, or maybe an out-of-control carriage might crush your skull. Life isn't something you can take for granted.

At the heart of the show remains Timothy Olyphant's Bullock, who in Season 2 becomes sheriff of the mining camp. There's a lot of politicking going on, mainly by the dastardly saloon owner Al Swearengen (Ian McShane), and his business opponent Cy Tolliver (Powers Boothe), but amongst the numerous subplots are a love triangle, racial tensions, the struggles of a whore trying to better herself, a wedding and a funeral that the whole camp attends (so you know it's something big - for the most part dead bodies get fed to the pigs on this show). The over-arching sub-plot involves the government wanting to take over the running of the town, and a mining big-wig buying up claims all over.

The acting remains excellent across the board. Olyphant continues to play the quiet, brooding type to a tee, William Sanderson slithers about as the conniving mayor, Brad Dourif is excellent-as-ever as the town doctor, and Robin Weigert is a revelation as Calamity Jane, who provides most of the comedic value. But the all-star acting prize goes to Ian McShane, whose Swearengen is on the surface a backstabbing, scheming game player, but who begins to show a more sympathetic side during this season, albeit while killing and plotting away gleefully.

One development that had me scratching my head was the return of Garret Dillahunt (most recently seen on TV's excellent RAISING HOPE). When he showed up I was confused, as he'd played a different role in the first season. I was expecting it to be revealed that he was back in disguise, but not so. His role this time out is definitely one of the highlights of the season - mining company representative Francis Wolcott, who has a penchant for slashing the throats of pretty girls.

In fact, the episode where Wolcott's fetish is unleashed in all its bloody glory (Ep 6 "Something Very Expensive") is the highlight of the season. While everyone in Deadwood seemingly has a dark side, Wolcott's bloodlust makes him the series' true villain. The weakest episode is Ep 4 "Requiem for a Gleet", which mostly deals with Al Swearengen's battle with near-deadly gallstones. It's slow and mostly uninteresting.

Part of the appeal of this show, apart from the magnificent acting and writing, is that you never quite know who might end up dead next. Much like life in the mafia (The Sopranos) or a zombie apocalypse (The Walking Dead), staying alive in Deadwood is easier said than done.

December catch up -White Buffalo, The Muthers, Eastern Condors

I've been a bit slack at posting reviews over the past month - blame Christmas and the summer holidays.

Here's a catch-up on a few movies I watched at the end of December...

The White Buffalo (1977)
Director: J Lee Thompson
Starring: Charles Bronson, Clint Walker, Jack Warden, Kim Novak
Format: DVD (MGM)

This Charles Bronson vehicle starts with a great opening dream sequence that introduces the titular White Buffalo in a way more befitting of a horror movie than a western. Another similar scene has the buffalo stampeding through an Indian village. Both use smoke, lighting, music and camera work to bring an effective atmosphere of dread and terror.

Sadly, the rest of the movie doesn't quite measure up, but as a standard western it's definitely worth watching.

Adapted for the screen by Richard Sale, from his own novel, White Buffalo tells the story of Wild Bill Hickock (Bronson) as he returns to the old West under an alias, in search of the White Buffalo that is haunting his dreams. It is directed by J Lee Thompson (helmer of classics THE GUNS OF NAVARONNE and CAPE FEAR and underrated 80s slasher HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME).

The first half of the movie is mostly concerned with reuniting Hickock with old acquaintances, some who are glad to see him, but most who aren't. He travels through frontier towns, saloons and open country putting lead in an assortment of low lives along the way.

The second half deals with the inevitable showdown with the buffalo, where he teams up with disgraced Indian warrior Crazy Horse (Will Sampson, THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES), who is seeking revenge against the buffalo after it killed his child during the aforementioned village stampede.

The plot has a few gaping holes (Hickock goes from saying "the only good injun is a dead injun", or something to that effect, to becoming buddies with Crazy Horse in the blink of an eye), but the storyline's solid enough, if fairly predictable.

This movie's strongest point is its cast. An array of familiar faces appear briefly on screen - Slim Pickens (BLAZING SADDLES), Ed Lauter (THE LONGEST YARD), John Carradine (father of David, Keith and Robert), Stuart Whitman (THOSE MAGNICIFENT MEN IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES) and Douglas Fowley (MIGHTY JOE YOUNG) among them. There's even a brief cameo by the sensei of Cobra Kai Dojo, Martin Kove.

Leading the supporting cast are Clint Walker (CHEYENNE TV series) as the treacherous Whistling Jack Kileen and Jack Warden (THE CHAMP) as Hickock's friend and Indian-hater One-Eye Charlie Zane, the latter stealing any scene he's in.

Kim Novak (VERTIGO) also shows up as Poker Jenny, a widower and former flame of Wild Bill. Middle age had hit Novak by this stage but she was still plenty beautiful.

Bronson's effective enough in a role that suits him (more shooting than talking), although there are some awkwardly-acted interchanges with Sampson. All of the hand gesturing and slow talking gets a bit embarrassing, as does the scene where Hickock, Zane and Crazy Horse sit around a fire debating race relations.

By the time the climax arrives too much talking has killed the anticipation, but the conclusion is equal parts silly and schmaltzy anyway.

As for the White Buffalo itself - the "monster" uses basic practical effects rather than any kind of CGI (which even in 1977 - the same year as Star Wars was released - would have been possible), but in a way they add to the dream-like nature of the buffalo scenes.

The White Buffalo is worth watching just to see a movie about a killer buffalo (are there any others out there?), but be prepared for a strong first half and a weak second half.

The Muthers (1976)
Director: Cirio H Santiago
Starring: Jeannie Bell, Rosanne Katon, Trina Parks
Format: DVD (Umbrella)

This slice of Filipino exploitation is featured in full as a special feature on the DVD release of Machete Maidens Unleashed (2010), a documentary about the Filipino b-movie craze of the late 60s, 70s and 80s.

The kings of this sub-genre (Roger Corman, Jack Hill, Cirio Santiago etc) had done a string of "women in cages" flicks and had ventured into blaxploitation. What to do next? Why, combine the two of course!

So here we get a pair of hot, black, female pirates - Kelly (Jeannie Bell, star of Santiago's earlier TNT JACKSON) and Angie (Rosanne Katon, EBONY, IVORY AND JADE).

When Kelly's sister goes missing, the two butt-kicking mamas go undercover inside a prison camp to get try and ger back. They meet prisoner Marcie (Trina Parks, DARKTOWN STRUTTERS), who shows her the ins and outs of the prison and also come across the prison boss's favourite girl, Serena (Jayne Kennedy, DEATH FORCE). And what do you know? They all take a shower together.

After one escape attempt is thwarted they learn that Kelly's sister has been killed, but are determined to get free. Serena joins them, the four foxy chicks taking on the jungle and the bad guys as they seek freedom. Stopping to bath naked in a river first of course.

The escape and resulting battles feature lots of machinegun fire, as you'd expect, but are sadly skint of explosions, bar a few minor ones in the climax showdown.

While the acting is better than I was expecting (the butt-kicking chicks get the majority of screen time, but Filipino exploitation regulars Ken Metcalfe (THE WOMAN HUNT), looking like George Peppard in The A Team, and Rocco Montalban (THE HOT BOX) also feature), the action is nothing special.

Machete Maidens Unleashed tells us good Filipino exploitation should feature the three Bs - breasts, blood and beasts. It has a good amount of the first one, not much of the second one, and it's not the right sub-genre for the third one (although the prison camp boss could be considered a beast of a man I suppose).

While The Muthers ticks the boxes in terms of T&A (albeit without the lesbian action that usually comes with with WIP flicks), it comes up short in other areas. It could have done with more action set pieces and the torture of women (a standard of WIP) is fairly tame.

In other words, for an exploitation movie it's not overtly exploitive, when compared with others from the genre.

Finally a word on Machete Maidens Unleashed: It's a good documentary with lots of footage from Filipino exploitation movies, and input from a lot of the major players. It tells the story of the genre well and will be enjoyed by anyone who enjoys low budget action flicks.

The cover of my VHS copy of Eastern Condors

Eastern Condors (1987)
Director: Sammo Hung
Starring: Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Joyce Godenzi, Haing S Ngor
Format: VHS (Kerridge Odeon)

Rotund Hong Kong kung fu legend Sammo Hung (although he's looking quite trim here) directs and stars in this Hong Kong take on the familiar "criminals get a shot at freedom by going on a suicide mission" action flick.

It's soon after the US pulled out of Vietnam, and Uncle Sam is eager for a hidden munitions dump not getting into the hands of the VC. The Army collects together a group of Asian-looking criminals and sends them in behind enemy lines to destroy it. During their mission they gain allies in the form of Cambodian rebels (a group of hot, kung fu chicks), but they are captured by the VC and it becomes clear a traitor is in their group. Who is it?

I'm going to admit here that I was distracted while watching this movie, and ended up missing quite a lot of plot. Did it detract from my enjoyment of watching Eastern Condors? Not one bit!

Sammo Hung mixes kung fu and war action expertly, throwing in enough chop-socky fights, machine gun blasts and explosions to keep proceedings moving along at a good pace. Put it this way - there's no chance you'll be bored.

The cheesiness factor is quite low - only the comically-bad voice overs register on the cheese scale. The rest of the laughs are intentional, and although it gets a bit silly in places, the comedy doesn't detract from the action.

And what action there is! We're not just talking about run of the mill gunfights and explosions. The kung fu fighting is creative and at times breathtaking - I guess that's the beauty of having an actual martial artist behind the lens.

Fast-paced and fun from start to finish, action fans won't be disappointed by Eastern Condors.

June 1 - Digital Man

The cover of my VHS copy of Digital Man

Digital Man (1995)
Director: Phillip J. Roth
Format: VHS (20th Century Fox)

After being on a bit of a war movie kick lately, I decided I needed something completely different and cheesy 90s scifi seemed like just the thing. With a line on the back of the VHS that says "He's Terminator, Cyborg and Robocop welded into one", along with a photo of Adam Baldwin, my hopes were high.

I've never heard of director Phillip J. Roth, but it seems he has a thing for cyborgs. His credits include such legendary titles (yes, that's sarcasm) as APEX, Prototype and Interceptor Force 2.

After some cheesy Playstation-esque CGI in the opening sequence, we're thrust into a situation somewhere in space in the future, where terrorists have stolen the launch codes for dozens of nuclear missiles. In response, the authorities send Digital Man (Matthias Hues, KICKBOXER 2 - minus his trademark long blonde hair) to take care of business.

On the flight back from taking out the terrorists, a botched sabotage attempt sees D1 (as Digital Man is officially known) crash land back on earth, in the desolate desert landscape of the Badwater nuclear testing range. The authorities, fearing that D1 has gone rogue, send a crack team of space commandos to decommission him and take back the launch codes.

There are civilians - made up of various cartoonish rednecks - living in Badwater, who soon find that D1 doesn't come in peace. The commandos (led by Kristen Dalton of the DEAD ZONE TV series and Ken Olandt of SUMMER SCHOOL, offering a romantic subplot) come to the defence of the locals, engaging in a series of explosion-laden throwdowns with Digital Man. Can they stop him before he transmits the launch codes and brings armageddon?

Digital Man is a sci-fi western (the soundtrack even features harmonica music). It takes the basic plot of countless westerns (including a number of Clint Eastwood vessels) of a lone stranger coming to town to protect its inhabitants from a ruthless gang of baddies and flips it on its head. So instead we have a gang of good guys protecting the locals from one ruthless stranger (although D1 never comes across as overtly evil, no matter how many innocent people he knocks off).

The line I mentioned from the back of the VHS correctly suggests that Roth unashamedly rips off bigger-budget scifi fare. The fact that Hues speaks with an Eastern European accent (he's German) makes the comparisons with The Terminator unavoidable, but the D1 POV shots with computer options are right out of Robocop.

The costumes are fantastically hokey - Digital Man and the commandos shoot guns that look like giant leafblowers, and the commandos' costumes consist of silver American Football pads over black clothing. The special effects are just as cheesy, particularly anything involving a spaceship or lasers, but there are plenty of big, pretty explosions to make up for it.

The cast of Digital Man includes lots of recognisable faces. On top of the always-enjoyable non-Baldwin-brother Adam Baldwin (PREDATOR 2) there's Paul Gleason (MANIAC COP 3), Ed Lauter (DEATH WISH 3), Don Swayze (DRIVING FORCE), Amanda Wyss (NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST) and even a brief appearance by Clint Howard (EVILSPEAK). The most fun character is a gun-toting granny played by the always-lively Susan Tyrrell, who is on screen too briefly to be able to to ham it up like she did in John Water's CRY-BABY, but still stands out.

Digital Man is good corny fun. Fans of scifi western should enjoy it, as should anyone looking for scifi that's not too heavy on plot and full of flashy explosions. I'm pretty sure it's never had a DVD release, but if you happen to come across the VHS, check it out.

Previews on my VHS: Buffalo Girls, Warriors, Never Say Die, Nine Months, The Brothers McMullen.

May 7 - Biker chicks, a black cowboy and zombies

Today I watched a triple feature of movies on DVD from a real mixture of genres.


She-Devils on Wheels (1968)
Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Format: DVD (Something Weird)

This is one of two biker chick exploitation movies released in 68 by Herschell Gordon Lewis (the other being Just for the Hell of It). Having moved on from the gorefests (Two Thousand Maniacs, Blood Feast, Color Me Blood Red etc) by which he made his name, Lewis momentarily tried his hand at more traditional drive in fare.

She-Devils on Wheels follows the exploits of an all-female biker gang called the Hellcats, who race their bikes, use men as sexual objects (in a nice role reversal) and have to deal to a male gang that moves into their turf.

Don't expect much in the way of plot or acting (most of the women are genuine biker chicks, so they can ride their bikes but don't have much in the way of thespian skills), but the action is passable and some of the dialogue is great ("Go fumigate yourself craphead!"). The sex scenes remind me of when network TV cops visit strip clubs, in that there's no nudity (check out the fully-clothed orgies), and there's no swearing, making all of the rebellious carry-on a tad G-rated. Luckily there's a decapitation to keep it unseamly.

Obviously shot on a tight budget, She-Devils on Wheels has a certain charm to it but there are far better biker exploitation flicks out there.



Joshua (1976)
Director: Larry G Spangler
Format: DVD (El Paso Pictures)

I'm a huge fan of western movies and have seen all sorts of movies from that genre, but this is my first blaxploitation western. I'm aware of others from this particular branch of the blaxploitation tree (The Soul of Nigger Charley, The Legend of Nigger Charley etc), but haven't laid eyes upon one until now.

Director Spangler only has four movies to his name and two of them are black westerns starring former NFL player Fred "the Hammer" Williamson - 1973's The Soul of Nigger Charley and this one.

Joshua stars Williamson as a soldier who returns from fighting in the Civil War to find a gang of white outlaws have killed his mother. He hunts them down and... well, it's a western so you know the drill.

Williamson takes his lead from Eastwood's various silent gunslingers, offering only a few lines of dialogue. In fact there's plenty in Joshua to compare to the spaghetti westerns of Eastwood, Leone et al - long periods without dialogue, gritty characters and even an attempt at a Morricone-esque score (which is repeated over and over to the point of becoming annoying). Eastwood's great "they killed my family and I'm getting revenge" western The Outlaw Josey Wales was released several months before Joshua, and it's easy to guess that movie influenced Spangler here. Although on all counts Joshua is done with less style and finesse than any of the Eastwood vehicles.

Where other movies of this kind use a brooding atmosphere to their advantage, unfortunately Joshua just comes off as slow-moving and frankly a bit dull. Western fans won't find it a complete waste of time, but others would be well advised to give it a miss.



The Plague of the Zombies (1966)
Director: John Gilling
Format: DVD (Midnight Movies double feature w/The Reptile)

From the UK's legendary Hammer Studios comes this tale of reanimated corpses and mystery in the Cornwall countryside. Directed by Hammer veteran John Gilling (The Pirates of Blood River, The Mummy's Shroud), it stars Andre Morrell (Hound of the Baskervilles, Quartermass and the Pit TV series) and Diane Clare (The Haunting) as a doctor and his daughter called to a Cornwall village to help with a spate of strange deaths. It is soon apparent there's more than science at work.

Released two years before George Romero changed the landscape for zombie movies forever, Plague benefits from the stunning sets of Hammer's Bray Studios and some top-notch acting. These zombies aren't the shambling brain-eaters of Romero's world. They're connected to voodoo, as zombies generally were before Night of the Living Dead, but are just as frightening - the first appearance of one on screen sends chills.

Secret corridors, voodoo ceremonies accompanied by tribal drums, dark old houses, untrusting villagers - Plague of the Zombies is a fantastic gothic mystery/horror and one of the best Hammer offerings since their Universal reboots of the 1950s.

The biggest budget of the three movies I watched today and easily the most enjoyable.