Black River (2001)

Black River (2001)
Director: Jeff Bleckner
Starring: Jay Mohr, Lisa Edelstein, Ann Cusack
Format: DVD

Plot: A writer visits a town that isn't what it appears to be.

In the 80s and 90s two people stood at the top of the mainstream world of horror fiction - Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I'm a dedicated King fan, having read all of his books and watched all the movie adaptions. On the other hand I've read only a few Koontz novels and seen maybe two or three film versions. I'd never heard of Black River (based on a Koontz short story of the same name) until stumbling across this DVD for $2 at Half Price Books, but the plot summary sounded intriguing and I like Jay Mohr, so I decided to give it a go.

The first thing to know about Black River is that it's a TV movie (originally aired as a mini-series I believe) so it has all the shortcomings of the format - no gore, no T&A, broadly-stereotyped and shallow characters etc. The second thing is that it's not a horror movie. The best way to describe it is as an extra-long episode of The Twilight Zone. If you're at all a fan of that show (original or 80s version) you'll pick the "twist" right away, I know I did.

Jay Mohr (CHERRY FALLS) is a likeable protagonist, a recently-divorced novelist (Koontz and King sure do like basing their stories around what they know) named Bo. Escaping the LA rat race, he finds himself in an idyllic small town. One that he can't escape no matter how hard he tries. Lisa Edelstein (three years before her key role in TV's HOUSE) is his love interest and John and Joan's sister Ann Cusack is a quirky waitress.

As mentioned the plot is entirely predictable. As a half-hour TV episode this may have worked, but as a feature-length presentation it ultimately fails. This is no fault of the cast or the director (handcuffed by the format no doubt), the story is just... blah. There are a couple of moments of unintentional humour (a garden hose inexplicably coming to life by itself) but for the most part things just plod along until the expected finale.

I'd recommend skipping this unless you're a Koontz completist or a huge fan of Jay Mohr. Even then you'd be better off searching out Mohr's better work, like the aforementioned Cherry Falls or his underrated TV sitcom Gary Unmarried.

31 Nights of Terror 2015 #30 - Halloweentown (1998)

Halloweentown (1998)
Director: Duwayne Dunham
Starring: Debbie Reynolds, Kimberly Brown, Judith Hoag
Format: AVI

Plot: Marnie, Dylan, and Sophie Piper have their first out of many adventures! On Halloween, while Marnie is arguing with her mother Gwen, the kids' grandmother Aggie comes to visit. Aggie wants to start Marnie's witch training before her 13th birthday or Marnie will lose her powers forever. But there is another reason for Aggie's visit. Something dark & evil is growing in Halloweentown & Aggie wants help to defeat it. While Aggie & Gwen are arguing, Aggie uses magic which Marnie observes. After Aggie leaves to return to Halloweentown, Marnie, Dylan and, unknown to Marnie and Dylan, Sophie follow her onto the return bus. Soon afterwards, Gwen follows the children to Halloweentown. While there, Aggie & Gwen are attacked by the dark force in a movie theater. Marnie, Dylan & Sophie race to get the ingredients to activate Merlin's Wand to stop the evil.

This one was a request of my girlfriend. There's a bit of an age gap between us. I'm 40, so my childhood horror memories are from the late 70s and early 80s. She's 25, so for her it's stuff in the late 90s and early 2000s, like this TV movie (it originally played on Disney Channel).

We sat down and watched this as a family, me, my girlfriend and my five-year-old son. I'm not going to do a long review about it, because, well, it's a kids' movie, but I have to say that it is well done for what it is. It's family-friendly fare, but it captures the essence of Halloween quite nicely. Debbie Reynolds is charming as the grandmother witch and some of the "monster" effects are cool in a goofy kind of way (like a G-rated version of Night Breed monsters or something Charles Band would dream up).

You won't be checking this one out unless you have a young child or you were a kid yourself in 1998, but for a children's movie I give it a thumbs up.

TUNE IN JUNE: Condor (1986)

Note: Here on Shlock to the System, June is TUNE IN JUNE, which is really just an excuse for me to catch up on some TV series I've been meaning to watch for a while. But I will also be watching a number of TV movies, particularly ones from the hey-day of the TV movie, the 70s and 80s.

Condor (1986)
Director: Virgil W Vogel
Starring: Ray Wise, Wendy Kilbourne, James Avery
Format: Streaming (Netflix)

Plot: In futuristic Los Angeles, a crime-fighting organization known as Condor goes up against the Black Widow, a female master criminal. The Black Widow steals the national security code and threatens to blow up Hollywood unless her old enemy, Proctor, a Condor operative, is turned over to her.

This ABC made-for-TV movie was intended as the pilot for a TV series, but it never happened. Which is a shame, because if this was a series, I'd watch it.

Sure, Condor is pretty damn cheesy but it's also good fun. Most of its appeal is due to leading man Ray Wise (it's hard to believe this is just four years before he'd portray Laura Palmer's dad on TWIN PEAKS), who plays a suave and wise-cracking detective, Proctor.

Attractive blonde Wendy Kilbourne (TV's MIDNIGHT CALLER) is his android partner, Lisa. Naturally Proctor doesn't like having a robot for a partner, and they constantly bicker, as is usually the dynamic in these sorts of shows. Proctor's prejudice against his android partner reminded me of the dynamic in the TV series Alien Nation (as well as Wise's minor resemblence to that series' star, Gary Graham). The late James Avery (Uncle Phil on FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR) turns up in a minor supporting role.

Aside from the good work by Wise, the main reason to watch this is to see how they handle "the future" in 1986. There's plenty of hokey "future" scifi stylings (hands-free driving, robot servants, laser guns, androids, hologram TV) and while the clothing might have seemed quite futuristic at the time, 30 years later it just seems like a slight variation on awful 80s fashions. One funny moment is when Lisa asks Proctor where his PC is. "My what?" he asks, and she replies "Personal Computer". In 1986 this was probably futuristic speak, but today it just seems quaint.

My only real complaint is with the pilot's villain, Rachael Hawkins (Carolyn Seymour), who is as bland as they come. A stronger antagonist might have helped this series get picked up.

Condor isn't anything special, but I was a kid of the 80s who grew up on the TV of the time. This reminded me of any of the various early-80s scifi/crime shows (Street Hawk, Automan, Knight Rider, Airwolf), minus the cool vehicle, but with the overall same sort of vibe. For that reason I enjoyed it, although it's probably not to everyone's tastes.

TUNE IN JUNE: Fortress (1985)

Note: Here on Shlock to the System, June is TUNE IN JUNE, which is really just an excuse for me to catch up on some TV series I've been meaning to watch for a while. But I will also be watching a number of TV movies, particularly ones from the hey-day of the TV movie, the 70s and 80s.

Fortress (1985)
Director: Arch Nicholson
Starring: Rachel Ward, Marc Aden Gray, Rebecca Rigg, Sean Garlick
Format: AVI

Plot: In the Australian countryside, a school teacher and her students are kidnapped by masked men. She and the children fight for their lives and try to escape from their captors.

This Australian made-for-TV movie stars the beautiful Rachel Ward, who was fresh off a series of American big budget movies (SHARKEY'S MACHINE, DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR PLAID, AGAINST ALL ODDS), and a supporting cast made up mostly of children actors.

Teacher and children are the focus of the movie, from the moment they're snatched from their classroom and taken into the Aussie bush for ransom, through their escape from a cave, to another run-in with their captors and climaxing in a final, deadly showdown that sees the kids becoming feral warriors, ala Lord of the Flies, but with bad guys on the receiving end instead of other children.

The fact that this is a made-for-TV movie might suggest that the violence is muted. But remember, this is Australian TV, not American. Whereas American network TV is highly censored, that's not the case in Australia (or here in New Zealand). With a story like this, that's an important difference, because the violence is an important part of proceedings and doesn't have to be kept off-screen.

But in saying that, some of the violence is still quite shocking, being that it involves children. And not children as victims, but children as perpetrators. These kids are pushed over the edge and they fight back in a big way.

The kidnappers are kept faceless for all but a brief moment, and their masks really add to the tension. Like in a more recent move, You're Next, seemingly-friendly masks become instruments of terror. Here it's also animal masks, but the ringleader wears a Santa Claus mask, which is all kinds of twisted.

Ward carries the bulk of the acting load (as well as getting her kit off), but most of the children also do a great job of acting terrified and bewildered and then, towards the end, vengeful. None of the young actors went on to become a Heath Ledger or Naomi Watts, but for most part they've all kept working in TV and movies since.

Fortress is a prime example of a made-for-TV movie done right. At just short of 90 minutes it never feels overly-long. Unencumbered by the censorship issues of an American production, it doesn't pull any punches and weaves an entertaining and suspenseful tale which will have you cheering along as the kids mete out their justice.

TUNE IN JUNE: Gargoyles (1972)

Note: Here on Schlock to the System, June is TUNE IN JUNE, which is really just an excuse for me to catch up on some TV series I've been meaning to watch for a while. But I will also be watching a number of TV movies, particularly ones from the hey-day of the TV movie, the 70s and 80s.

Gargoyles (1972)
Director: Bill L Norton
Starring: Cornel Wilde, Jennifer Salt, Scott Glenn, Bernie Casey
Format: AVI

Plot: An anthropologist and his daughter travel into the desert of the southwest US to investigate a report of strange goings-on, and stumble upon a colony of living, breathing gargoyles who live in nearby caves. When the gargoyles attack, father and daughter must fight for survival.

Ah yes, the TV movie. Before the advent of the VCR, the only way most people could catch a movie was either at the cinema or later when it was broadcast on TV. During the 1960s, a new term was coined, the Made-for-TV movie. Throughout the 70s and 80s, the likes of the ABC Movie of the Week and NBC Saturday Night at the Movies became ratings winners.

Made-for-TV movies usually had low budgets, a small cast and a pacing all of their own, based around needing mini-cliffhangers running into commercial breaks. Some were good, plenty were bad, and some were controversial, pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable on television.

Being that I was born in 1974 and outside of the US, I missed a lot of the 70s and early 80s made-for-TV movies. When I decided to do this theme for June, I turned to the internet to find what people considered some of the best of the genre. 1972's Gargoyles (which apparently premiered on CBS in the US) sprang up on a few lists, so I hunted it down.

It is directed by Bill L Norton, who went on to direct a lot of TV movies and series, everything from Tour of Duty to Angel to The Unit. It is written by TV movie vets Stephen and Elinor Karpf (ADAM AT SIX AM, TERROR IN THE SKY, DEVIL DOG: HOUND FROM HELL etc).

The cast is a good one. Cornel Wilde (something of a star in the 40s, 50s and 60s) is an adequate leading man, while attractive Jennifer Salt (who would go on to star on TV's SOAP) does a lot of screaming as his daughter. Scott Glenn (APOCALYPSE NOW) is a young dirt-biker who helps them battle the gargoyles, while former NFL player Bernie Casey is the head gargoyle (under heavy make-up and with vocal effects added by another actor) and former TV star Grayson Hall (DARK SHADOWS) is a hard-drinking motel owner.

Gargoyles is nicely shot, with the desert setting adding a level of suspense and creepiness to what is otherwise a rather-corny monster flick. Because it's a 70s made-for-TV movie we can cut the special effects some slack, but they're bad - the Gargoyle make-up kind of reminded me of the Sleestaks from the Land of the Lost TV series. I was surprised to read on IMDB that the make-up was done by the legendary Stan Winston, here making his debut.  But I guess everyone has to start somewhere.

Norton tries his best to give proceedings an air of suspense, with touches such as doing the gargoyles' scenes in slow motion. It's an attempt to make their movements seem other-wordly, but because the backgrounds go by in slow-motion too, it ultimately fails. One other thing of note is that the opening credits have a "green ooze" font, which instantly reminded me of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror credits (I was half expecting to see… Directed by Boogeyman Bill Norton).

If this movie was made today it would be hard to describe it as anything but mediocre. But given the era it was made, and the fact it was made for TV, I'm willing to cut it a little slack and give it a mild recommendation. I suspect it will mainly appeal to anyone who watched it as a kid, for nostalgic reasons.

Manhunt for Claude Dallas (1986)

 The cover of my VHS copy of Manhunt for Claude Dallas

Manhunt for Claude Dallas (1986)
Director: Jerry London
Starring: Matt Salinger, Claude Akins, Beau Starr

Plot: Claude Dallas (Salinger) is a man of the land, living it rough in the mountains of Idaho. When he is caught by a festidious game warden for hunting deer out of season (Akins) Claude shoots him and his fellow warden dead. He goes on the run as a manhunt ensues.

The first comment I have about this 1980s TV movie is that the cover of the VHS (see above) is puzzling. It features Claude Akins prominently, which at first glance would lead you believe that he is Claude Dallas (adding to the confusion is the fact actor and character are both Claude). But instead Akins features for only 10 minutes or so, before being killed and then featuring in brief flashbacks. Odd choice for a cover.

Okay, so with that out of the way, onto the movie. It's directed by Jerry London, a veteran of TV series and TV movies throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s, and apparently based on true events. More specifically it is an adaption of the non-fiction book Outlaw: The Story of Claude Dallas by Jeff Long, with a screenplay by TV veteran John Gay.

London and Gay knew what they were doing, and it shows. This is an above-average TV movie from an era when they really knew how to do TV movies properly. It follows the manhunt, then Dallas' capture and trial, with flashbacks thrown in to show his earlier life as well as some exposition surrounding supporting characters.

What really stands out is that this movie leaves it mildly ambiguous as to whether Claude Dallas was a cold-blooded killer or a kind-hearted man-of-the-land pushed too far by the government. The way that Dallas becomes a folk hero (even gaining his own "Dallas cheerleaders") is a theme that has been covered in countless movies, but remains as revelant today as it did in 1986.

Without having read the original book, I would guess that London and Gay stick pretty closely to the real life story. I say this because there were moments when a fictional story may have thrown in a plot twist, but here it was resisted. That's not to say it is entirely predictable, in fact by staying true to how real people act, it could be said that it's less predictable than your average Hollywood flick.

The acting is great across the board. Salinger (who played the titular hero in the doomed 1990 Captain America film) is an adequate leading man, eliciting sympathy while also showing Dallas' dark side. The supporting cast features several familiar faces.  Brent Spiner (Lt Data on STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION) is Claude's nervy friend who witnesses the murders. Pat Hingle (Jim Gordon in Tim Burton's BATMAN movies) is a friend who helps Claude. Rip Torn (MEN IN BLACK) is the cop that leads the manhunt. And Annette Benning makes her on-screen debut in a brief scene.

Perhaps not action-packed or exploitive enough for some people, fans of 70s and 80s TV movies should find this one an interesting enough watch.

SUMMER OF 87 #8: Dirty Dozen The Deadly Mission

The cover of my VHS copy of Dirty Dozen: Deadly Mission

 

11.30am, Day 2:

Dirty Dozen: The Deadly Mission
Director: Lee H Katzin
Starring: Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Vince Edwards, Bo Svenson, Vincent Van Patten
Format: VHS (CEL)

Plot: Learning of a Nazi plot to attack Washington DC with a deadly nerve gas, Major Wright (Telly Savalas) leads twelve convicts on a suicide mission deep into occupied France to destroy the secret factory where the poison is made.

- Disclosure: I last watched the original Dirty Dozen movie quite a few years ago. I haven't seen any of the TV movie sequels, of which this is the second (following 1985's The Next Mission and before 1988's The Fatal Mission).
- The set up is the same as the first two movies, but with Savalas taking over the Lee Marvin role as the leader assigned to whip 12 condemned prisoners into shape for the big mission. Savalas was one of the original Dirty Dozen but his character was killed off in the first movie, so his Major Wright here is a new character.
- Among the new Dirty Dozen are: Gary Graham (ALIEN NATION TV series) as rebellious Joe Stern; real life brothers Vincent (HELL NIGHT) and James (SAW 4 and 5) Van Patten as the German-looking Webber brothers; Bo Svenson (WALKING TALL) as cunning Fontenac; Randall Cobb (BLIND FURY) as the giant Swede; Thom Mathews (Tommy Jarvis in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6) as clean cut Kelly; Paul Picerni (1960s TV series THE UNTOUCHABLES) as counterfeiter Ferruci; and Branco Blace as explosives expert Martinez.
- Director Katzin has some 69 credits to his name, all but a few of them in TV series and TV movies, everything from the Mission Impossible series in the 60s to Miami Vice and Walker Texas Ranger. So he knows how to put together action sequences in a TV format. Writer Mark Rodgers had a similarly-long career in TV.
- This movie opened with a good shootout and there was another soon after the Dozen drop into enemy territory, but things slow down in the middle as the soldiers infiltrate the local population and do lots of sneaking around.

Overall thoughts: This Dirty Dozen sequel is at its best when Nazis are being machine-gunned down and things are blowing up. There's plenty of that at the start and the finish, but it gets dragged down by a slow middle portion. Because it's a TV movie, there's no grittiness, but a solid cast and just enough action makes it watchable.

31 Nights of Terror #17 - Bats: Human Harvest (2007)

Bats: Human Harvest (2007)
Director: Jamie Dixon
Starring: David Chokachi, Michael Jace, Pollyanna McIntosh, Marty Papazian
Format: DVD (Sony Pictures)

- There in the opening credits is the magic word: Scifi (as in the TV channel they stupidly renamed Syfy). I've said in past reviews that Scifi made-for-TV movies are a definite guilty pleasure of mine.
- To recap, when I watch Scifi movies my expectations lower and I know I'm going to get a few key elements: Bad CGI, a washed-up big name actor or two, and loads of cheese.
- I sure hope this movie can live up to the standards set by the awesome killer bat movies of the past, like, uh... hmmm. Now that I come to think of it I don't remember ever seeing a good killer bat movie.
- I'm surprised there hasn't been more horror set in modern day Afghanistan (ie warzone), or maybe I've just missed them? I only remember Sand Serpents from 2009, which was pretty decent.
- The aforementioned washed-up actor here is David Chokachi, who apparently played a lifeguard on Baywatch.
- And the bad CGI? Well, apart from the killer bats, all of the helicopter shots are quite obviously computer-generated.
- Hey, it's Pollyanna McIntosh, who played the feral woman in Lucky McKee's messed up little flick The Woman (the review of which you can find on this blog).
- Okay, so this didn't stay in Afghanistan for long. Looks like Chechnya is going to be the setting for the rest of the movie.
- The bats disarmed that Chechnyan rebel. He's 'armless now.
- I just remembered a good killer bats movie, Bats, the one with Lou Diamond Phillips. No wait, that was awful.
- Oh, how about Fangs, the one with Corbin Bernsen from 2002? Nope, even worse.
- Hang on, according to IMDB this is a sequel to the Lou Diamond Phillips flick? Okay then.
- Over-used corny line #1: "You hear that?", "What?", "Nothing. No birds, no animals. It's too quiet."
- Over-used corny line #2: "I'm not going anywhere. I'm bleeding to death. You go, I'll get these bastards."
- These bats are apparently able to camoflage themselves against trees, or something like that. I dunno, I'm kind of zoning out.
- To summarise the last third of the movie: Explosions, bats swooping about, explosions, more bats, evil scientist guy is captured, explosions, more bats, big explosion, the end.

Overall thoughts: I mentioned in my notes that my expectations lower for Scifi TV movies, which is maybe why I usually end up enjoying them. Bats: Human Harvest is pretty much on par with most of its ilk, except for one thing that made it boring for me. Bats. They're just not a very interesting "killer creature" as far as I'm concerned. You always know the bats are fake and people running around swatting at the sky doesn't build suspense or terror. I doubt anyone could make a killer bats story that would keep my interest.

31 Nights of Terror #5 - Body Bags (1993)

Body Bags (1993)
Director: John Carpenter (2 segments), Tobe Hooper (1 segment)
Starring: John Carpenter, Robert Carradine, Stacey Keach, Mark Hamill
Format: VHS (Home Cinema Group)

- I had this one on my list to watch for this marathon, but had to bump it up to today after learning that actor Charles Napier had died. He features in one of the segments in this anthology.
- I've been wanting to see this for years. All I know is it's an anthology, was made for TV and is meant to have all sorts of horror movie cameos in it.
- So instead of The Cryptkeeper we get John Carpenter himself as The Coroner. Nice touch.
- Another nice touch: The first segment is set in Haddonfield.
- Alright, let's go horror actor/director spotting!
- Spotted in segment 1, The Gas Station: Directors Wes Craven and Sam Raimi, David Naughton (American Werewolf in London).
- Decapitated head humor, always funny.
- Segment 2 is void of horror guy cameos, but it does feature 80s singers Sheena Easton and Deborah Harry.
- Stacey Keach in a long hair wig is just creepy. Like seeing Fabio as an old man.
- Segment 3, there's Charles Napier, playing a baseball coach. RIP Charles.
- Mark Hamill and Twiggy as a married couple. Mr and Mrs Has Been!
- Roger Corman as a doctor. Nice! Ha, and his acting is terrible, exactly what you'd expect from one of his own low-budget movies.
- And Corman's doctor colleague is played by former b-movie leading man John Agar (Tarantula, Attack of the Puppet People etc).
- Hamill's actually pretty good in this.
- And the final cameo comes in the wrap-around conclusion, as director Tobe Hooper plays a morgue worker alongside Tom Arnold.

Overall thoughts:
I've read that this anthology was intended as a pilot for a TV series that didn't get picked up. I'm not sure why it didn't get picked up, because it's as good as most horror/scifi anthology TV series of the past 30 years. And no, that's not a compliment. Like its peers, Body Bags suffers from the restraints of TV censorship (sparse blood and guts) and weak source material.
The middle story, Hair, is the least conventional of the three, but is also the weakest. The opening story has good atmosphere, music and camerawork, the hallmarks of John Carpenter's career, while the third one, directed by Tobe Hooper, is from the predictable transplanted-body-part-is-evil line, and is only saved by a good acting performance by former Luke Skywalker Mark Hamill. The best stuff comes in the wrap-around, which is full of dark humour and a fun performance by Carpenter himself.
Final verdict? Not a complete waste of time but if you've seen most horror anthologies you know what to expect. If nothing else horror fans will have fun trying to spot all the director cameos.

CORMANIA 2011 #5 - Dinoshark

8.02pm - Dinoshark (2010)
Our King's role: Producer and actor
Cast: Eric Balfour (The TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake), Iva Hasperger (EXORCISM), Roger Corman.

Plot: Trace McGraw (Balfour) returns to his hometown, a beachside resort in Mexico to run a fishing charter, just as a giant shark begins chomping on people. It's no ordinary shark though - it's a prehistoric dinosaur shark and it's hungry. McGraw teams up with a beautiful biologist (Hasperger) to try to kill the creature before more people die.

Observations:
- Rip off Jaws music. Check.
- Hello bad CGI dinoshark (which looks like a shark with the head of a T-Rex).
- Syfy movie cliche #21: Guy who returns to his hometown after being away for a while.
- Chompity chomp, byebye surfer!
- Nice gore as we see a half-eaten girl on the beach.
- This is a TV movie, so there's no nudity, but there are plenty of bikini-clad hot chicks.
- For the first time in this marathon, our King appears onscreen. Here he plays Dr Reeves, a scientist.
- They mention a sighting of a dinoshark in New Zealand, but they show a map of Indonesia on screen? Sloppy guys!
- Mariachi band sighting. But no guy with the giant guitar? Boo-urns!
- Yes! Dinoshark 1, helicopter 0. "You're gonna need a bigger chopper".
- Hey, that rocketlauncher looks like it was bought at the dollar store.
- More nice gore in the form of a decapitated head (yet another homage to Jaws).
- Ol' Dinoshark is on a roll, chomping all manner of floating vessels.
- Cheesy one-liner alert during the climactic showdown.

Overall thoughts:
As I said in my review of Sand Serpents, I'm a fan of these cheesy Syfy TV movies and I always go into them expecting three things - cheesy CGI, a nature-run-amok plotline and a washed up actor from the 80s. Dinoshark meets the first two criteria but not the third. It doesn't matter though, because it more than makes up for it elsewhere. I'd almost add a fourth expectation from these movies - the titular monster chomping a helicopter - and this one comes through. And then it keeps going, with boats, kayaks, even a parasailer getting the big chomp. Good cheesy fun!

May 28 - Vigilante Cop

The cover of my VHS copy of Vigilante Cop

Vigilante Cop (1991)
Director: Mel Damski
Format: VHS (VM Distribution)

Vigilante Cop. It's a promising title, but one that comes with expectations of something a bit grittier and more action-packed than the TV movie that is attached to it. The more appropriate title is the one it had when it originally showed on TV - Shoot First: A Cop's Vengeance.

Farrell Tucker (Dale Midkiff, PET SEMETARY) and Stephen Smith (Alex McArthur, the DESPERADO series of TV movies) are two rookie police officer buddies patrolling the mean streets of San Antonio, Texas. Smith is idealistic to a fault, but soon finds that life on patrol isn't as black and white as he thought it would be.

When a street thug escapes justice on a technicality, he starts taking matters into his own hands as his world unravels. Now the titular vigilante cop, Smith kills off those who escape justice while becoming paranoid and alienating those close to him, leading to a climactic showdown with his best buddy (foreshadowed in an opening scene).

Let's be clear. This isn't an action movie. There are a few shootings and one explosion, but in essence it's about the breakdown in the relationship between the two friends. And remember, it's a TV movie so don't expect any nudity or gore.

The supporting cast is solid. Terry O'Quinn (THE STEPFATHER) is a police sergeant who first suspects a vigilante is at work, Dan Bell (one of Wayne's and Garth's stoner buddies in WAYNE'S WORLD) is a street criminal, Jeremy Davies (RAVENOUS) is briefly on screen as a punk, Bruce McGill (ANIMAL HOUSE, MACGYVER) is a crooked cop and Loryn Locklin (Christopher Lambert's wife in FORTRESS) is a diner waitress who falls in love with and marries Smith.

Fans of TV movie melodrama might find Vigilante Cop worth watching (if they can get their hands on it - it hasn't been released on DVD), but otherwise it's safe to give this one a miss.

Previews on my VHS tape: The Fatal Image, Captive, Immortal Sins.

May 17 - a twister wannabe and a thrill-less thriller

A couple of movies I've watched in the last few days that aren't worth a real review:

Tornado Valley (2009)
Director: Andrew C Erin
Format: TV

I caught this made-for-TV movie when it was on TV a couple of days ago. Essentially it's a weak rip off of Twister - its main character is a woman who lost a parent to a tornado, but in place of Helen Hunt we get former Dawson's Creek actress Meredith Monroe, this movie's biggest name star.

With a limited budget the twister effects aren't very good, but don't worry, you won't see them much anyway. For a movie about tornadoes there sure isn't many of them - most of the running time is taken up with women's channel-type melodrama. Very cheesy, and not in the good way.


Future Murder (2000)
Director: Andre Ovredal
Format: VHS

I got this in a bulk lot of about 50 VHS tapes I bought and spotted director Ovredal's name. A couple of weeks ago I watched his only other directorial effort, the fantastic Trollhunter (2010). Figuring it would be cool to see his freshman outing, I popped Future Murder into the ol' VCR.

I'm not sure how these two movies were directed by the same guy. Future Murder is a bland thriller which is predictable (you'll see the twist ending coming a mile away) and just not very interesting. The VHS box lists it as an independent film, and if it is, the overall look and acting aren't too bad for low budget, but the plot is by-the-numbers. Maybe worth a look if you're bored. Very bored.