CORMANIA 2011 - Finished

Well, that's it. Eleven Roger Corman movies over two days. And you know what? I could probably start watching another one right now. I better not though - time to go and breath some fresh air and spend some time with the family.

Cormania 2011 was a lot of fun. Out of the 11 movies there actually weren't any real stinkers. None that I wanted desperately to escape from. I covered a lot of ground in terms of genres, styles and years, which is exactly what I set out to do.

I hope you've enjoyed reading - I know my movie marathon reviews aren't as fully written as my regular ones, but that's because I don't want a lot of work when doing these things. Jotting down a few observations here and there works for me.

I'm not sure when I'll be doing my next movie marathon, but I'm open to ideas. If you've got a good idea, let me know in the comments section. Or just let me know what you thought of this marathon.

Finally some stats from Cormania 2011:

Films: 11
Total running time: 866 minutes (14 hours and 46 minutes)
Oldest: Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
Newest: Dinoshark (2010)
Most Boring Film: The Berlin Conspiracy
Most Fun Film: Chopping Mall
Best Quality Film: The Masque of the Red Death

And once again, hail to the King (of Bs) baby!

CORMANIA 2011 #11 - Little Shop of Horrors

3.20pm - Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
Our King's role: Director and producer
Cast: Jonathon Haze (IT CONQUERED THE WORLD), Jackie Joseph (GREMLINS), Mel Welles (ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS), Dick Miller (BUCKET OF BLOOD), Jack Nicholson (THE SHINING).

Plot: Seymour (Haze) is a klutz who works in a skid row florist shop. He can't seem to do anything right, until he brings in a strange plant that grows after eating human blood. He names it Audrey 2, after the daughter (Joseph) of the store owner (Welles). It begins attracting onlookers and bolstering the store's business, making Seymour more popular than ever. But he has to keep feeding Audrey 2 human flesh to keep it alive, and sooner or later that's going to be a problem.

Observations:
- Full disclosure: I have never seen this version. I've seen the 1980s musical remake, but not this one.
- Animation opening to show "skid row". I guess it was the cheap option. Apparently this movie was made in two days, so plenty of shortcuts had to be taken.
- Dick Miller on screen right away, seguing us nicely from Chopping Mall.
- Mel Welles is great as the harangued shop owner, providing most of the early laughs.
- I'm a huge fan of the Gremlins movies, but up until now didn't realise that the old couple (Dick Miller and Jackie Joseph) in Gremlins had appeared together in this film. It's always great to find out about hidden homages like that.
- "Feeeeeed me".
- Ah, the famous Jack Nicholson appearance as Wilbur Force, the sadomasochist dental patient. Good stuff.
- Just noticed on IMDB that Audrey 2's voice was provided by screenwriter Charles Griffith. Another similarity to our last movie (where writer and director Jim Wynorski voiced the killbots).
- So many great, wacky characters. The old lady whose relatives keep dying is fun, as is Seymour's hypocondriac mother.
- Hey, I guess you really are what you eat.

Overall thoughts: What a fun way to finish this marathon. I had read enough over the years to know that this original Little Shop of Horrors wasn't a musical, but I was also expecting it to be lacking in the comedy department. Boy was I wrong. This one's funny from start to finish, with great, quirky characters. Coming a year after Bucket of Blood, it's in the same vein, centring around a bumbling klutz who gains popularity by accident (through art in BoB and the plant in this one) and has to kill to keep that popularity going. Black comedy at its best!

CORMANIA 2011 #10 - Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall (1986)
Our King's role: Executive producer
Cast: Kelli Maroney (NIGHT OF THE COMET), Tony O'Dell (KARATE KID), Russell Todd (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2), Barbara Crampton (RE-ANIMATOR).

Plot: A group of young 20-somethings decide to party it up in a furniture store inside a mall after hours, unaware that the mall's new high tech security system (three robot security guards) has gone haywire thanks to a lightning strike. The robots are now out to kill anyone they see. Included among the various horny party-goers are two straight-laced kids on a blind date (Maroney and O'Dell), but will they survive as the killbots start picking off their friends?

Observations:
- Full disclosure: I've seen this one before, once, but (sorry to sound like a broken record) it was quite a few years back.
- Ah the old movie-within-a-movie opening.
- Early sightings of Mary Woronov from Death Race 2000 and Angus Scrimm, the Tall Man from the Phantasm series.
- The opening credits music is so generically 80s. Awesome!
- Directed and written by B-movie legend Jim Wynorski, who apparently also does the voice of the security robots.
- Barbara Crampton looking hot as a perky waitress and our main girl's best friend.
- Wait, lightning makes the robots kill? Where's the smart-cracking hilarity? Short Circuit lied to me!
- Young people with huge hair bopping along to synth-based dance music. God bless the 80s!
- It would be remiss of me not to say: Boobies!
- Hey, it's Attack of the Crab Monsters (of course directed by Our King)! Our nerdy main couple watch it while the other couples are screwing.
- Dick Miller cameo, woohoo! And he's a janitor called Walter Paisley. Nice homage to Bucket of Blood (another Corman flick).
- Funbagos!
- Holy exploding heads Batman!
- Peckinpah's Sporting Goods. The tributes in this movie are awesome.
- Little Shop of Pets. Another good one and quite fitting given the last movie of my marathon coming up. Hint hint.
- Freeze frame credits. How old school!

Overall thoughts: When it comes to low budget 80s slasher flicks, they don't come much more awesome than this. I mean, it's killer robots killing good-looking teens/young adults in a mall - what more could you want? Well, how about some subtle humour? Because Chopping Mall has plenty of it. Everything is done tongue-in-cheek but not to the point of sillyness. Add to that some T&A and gore and you've got one rockin' good time. I love Chopping Mall.

CORMANIA 2011 - Lunch break

I wish I had more interesting stuff to write here, but it's mundane I'm afraid. I broke for lunch at just after 1pm (closer to 1.15pm by the time I had scanned the cover of my VHS copy of The Berlin Conspiracy). Toasted sandwiches and potato chips for lunch. You'd think I'd go for something a bit healthier given all the junk I've eaten in the last few days, but eh.

I had given myself an hour for lunch, but was actually ready to get going ahead of time so headed back down to the cinema and watched a few of the great previews at the start of the VHS copy of my next marathon movie, Chopping Mall.

Alright, let's get back into it with the first of the last two movies of the marathon, some 80s killer robot slasher horror awesomeness!

CORMANIA 2011 #9 - The Berlin Conspiracy

11.42am - The Berlin Conspiracy (1992)
Our King's role: Executive producer
Cast: Marc Singer (BEASTMASTER), Mary Crosby (ICE PIRATES), Stephen Davies (BLOODFIST 7)

Plot: In the days surrounding the collapse of the Berlin Wall, four cannisters of biological weapons are stolen from East Berlin by terrorists on order for Iraq. In order to get them back, an East German spy (Davies) is forced to cross to the West and team up with an American CIA agent (Singer). It turns out they are both involved with the same woman (Crosby), creating tension in their new partnership. Will they still be able to work together to stop the cannisters from ending up in the wrong hands?

Observations:
- I got this rare flick in a bulk lot of VHS tapes I bought recently. As far as I know it's not on DVD.
- Directed by Terence H Winkless, who also directed the first Bloodfist movie. So can we expect some good action?
- We're in East Berlin, two days before the wall came down. I know that because it said so onscreen.
- Love the Film Noir-esque narration.
- Marc Singer! One of the most underrated actors of the 80s. Loved him in V and the Beastmaster series (movies and TV series).
- Hey, what do ya know, a good fight scene in the first five minutes.
- Biological weapons. Iraq. How topical for the time.
- I actually recognise some of the footage they're using from the Berlin Wall coming down.
- So now the East und za Vest... I mean West... are working together.
- Full frontal hooker nudity alert.
- The American is a partying womaniser, the East German a stiff-collared by the book man. Holy lazy stereotypes Batman!
- Corny one-liner alert: "That's one bad Czech that didn't bounce".
- Oh no, our buddies are fighting! I hope they sort out their differences by the end of the movie.
- Out of control tramcar!
- Who left that pile of empty boxes there?
- Shootout on top of the Berlin Wall. There's something you don't see every day.
- Maybe they'll raise the baby as a kind of German version of My Two Dads?

Overall thoughts: Political thrillers just aren't my thing. The Berlin Conspiracy is part political thriller, part buddy cop movie. The latter can be okay (I quite like the Rush Hour movies), but this one's pretty much by the numbers (partners don't get along, one's a rebel, the other a bit square). The best stuff is early on when we see inside East Berlin as the authorities scramble in the lead up to the wall coming down. I really wish this one had gone whole hog on being a film noir homage, with Marc Singer playing a hard-boiled detective going inside East Berlin, and Crosby playing the sexy damsel. That would have ruled it bigtime. Instead it's a passable action thriller. There's a reason this one isn't on DVD.

CORMANIA 2011 #8 - Attack of the Giant Leeches

10.14am - Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
Our King's role: Executive producer
Cast: Ken Clark (12 TO THE MOON), Yvette Vickers (REFORM SCHOOL GIRL), Jan Shepherd (KING CREOLE)

Plot: Down in the bayou, an old trapper sees a giant creature in the water, but his buddies don't believe him. He turns up dead, discovered by ranger Steve Benton (Clark) and his girl (Shepherd). Then other people start disappearing and it's up to our intrepid couple to try to discover what the creatures are and destroy them.

Observations:
- Full disclosure: I have seen this movie before, but not for quite a few years.
- Love the organ music that accompanies the opening credits. Definitely gets you in the mood for some good ol' 50s scifi b-movie greatness.
- Ah, domestic violence. "Some day I'm gonna give that shecat the whuppin' she deserves".
- Damn that's a small robe Yvette Vickers is wearing.
- Classic line: "Oh, go soak your fat head".
- Poor old storekeeper Dave Walker. His cute young wife gives him grief and she's screwing around on the side.
- A young couple can't outrun a big ol' fat guy? Really?
- Men in rubber suits alert!
- Nan. There's a name you don't see young women using much these days.
- Nothing takes the work out of canoeing better than drinking moonshine out of a jug.
- Man, those rubber suits are awesome.
- Nice shots of bodies floating up through the water.
- Gotta love hokey science. Apparently these giant leeches might have been caused by "some kind of gigantism" caused by atomic energy from rocket launches at nearby Cape Canaveral.
- Hmmmm, it must be cold in that water. Her headlights are on full beam.
- There ain't no problem dynamite can't solve.

Overall thoughts: If you're a fan of low budget 1950s scifi monster movies, this is right up your alley. Of course by today's standards it's all a bit hokey, but take yourself back to when this movie was released and it must have been quite chilling. Despite Mystery Theatre 3000 having riffed on this, it's actually a fairly decent little movie. Gotta love those rubber suit monsters!

CORMANIA 2011 - Start of Day 2

I got out of bed at around 9am this morning, nice and refreshed. Ate a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs, caught up on the news, played with my son a bit, then started getting ready for day 2 of Cormania 2011.

I struck a slight snag - I had originally planned to open today with the classic It Conquered the World, but discovered that I don't actually own it. I could have sworn I did. But instead I will be watching another Corman scifi effort from the 1950s, albeit not quite as classic - Attack of the Giant Leeches.

Snacks at the ready, let's do this!

CORMANIA 2011 - End of Day 1

Seven Roger Corman films in one day. Not bad.

It's just about 1am and I'm about to go get some sleep. I'll be back in the morning to start day two, which brings four more Corman movies.

Until then, Hail to the King (of Bs) baby!

CORMANIA 2011 #7 - Slumber Party Massacre 2

11.24am - Slumber Party Massacre 2
Our King's role: Executive producer
Cast: Crystal Bernard, Juliet Cummins (FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING), Heidi Kozak (FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE NEW BLOOD), Kimberley McArthur (MALIBU EXPRESS)

Plot: Courtney Bates (Bernard) is the younger sister of a girl who survived the events of the first Slumber Party Massacre movie. She's in an all-girl rock band who head away to an empty condo for a few nights of partying. But Courtney keeps having bad dreams about her sister, people dying and some guy playing an electric guitar with a giant drillbit coming out the end of it. As the girls head to their slumber party weekend away, Courtney's dreams become more and more vivid and her friends start to think she's going mental. But when the dreams become reality, they're suddenly fighting for their lives.

Observations:
- I'm guessing the clips at the start of the movie are from the first one, but I haven't seen it so I don't know for sure.
- I have seen this sequel, but again it was quite a few years ago.
- Crystal Bernard. I remember her from the 90s TV show Wings.
- Girls wearing suspenders. So 80s.
- OMG, a dead bird. That's a sure sign that... well, a bird died I guess.
- Rock chicks are hot. Hey, this girl group sounds kinda like The Bangles.
- Today's viewing comes full circle, and not just because of Roger Corman. This movie is directed by Deborah Brock, who was post-production superviser on Barbarian Queen, the movie that got this marathon rolling.
- Corndogs and champagne. The breakfast of champions.
- A pillow fight breaks out. We all know that's what happens any time two or more women get together without guys around.
- Hello boobies! Damn Juliette Cummins is hot. Today's portion of the marathon started with boobs and it's closing with boobs.
- Even Rocky had a montage.
- Keeping with tradition, all of the "teenage" girls in this movie were 23 or older when it was filmed (according to IMDB).
- Okay, the gore's been pretty lame so far, but that exploding zit was pretty gnarly.
- Officer Krueger? Wink, wink.
- A breakdancing slasher killer. It doesn't get much more awesome than that.
- His one-liners are pretty awful though. Freddie Krueger you've got a lot to answer for buddy.
- Yikes, lame ending alert.

Overall thoughts: If it wasn't for its over-the-top, campy killer, this movie would be just any other run-of-the-mill 80s slasher. As it is, Slumber Party Massacre 2 is an unashamed ripoff of Nightmare on Elm St, but like that series it is the killer that keeps the weak material interesting. This flick is at its best when the driller killer is dancing about with his crazy ass drill guitar, sticking it into screaming girls with a sense of fun. It's a damn shame they didn't do any more sequels.

CORMANIA 2011 #6 - The Wild Angels

9.44pm - Wild Angels (1966)
Our King's role: Director and producer
Cast: Peter Fonda (EASY RIDER), Nancy Sinatra (SPEEDWAY), Bruce Dern (SILENT RUNNING), Diane Ladd (WILD AT HEART)

Plot: Heavenly Blues (Fonda) is leader of the San Pedro, California chaper of the Hells Angels motorcycle gang. He brings his buddy Loser (Dern) back into the fold from an honest life, but a run-in with the heat ends up going not so groovy, and Loser winds up in hospital (sorry, don't know any 60s slang for that). The Wild Angels spring him, but Loser ends up dying. His funeral turns into a "party", in which a church is trashed, a preacher beaten up and Loser's woman (Ladd) raped. Even when they take him to be buried it turns into a big brawl between bikers and townsfolk.

Observations:
- Brief Dick Miller sighting in the first scene.
- Even tough biker guys liked to shake their tailfeathers in the swinging 60s.
- Heavenly Blues don't like no hard drugs, ya dig?
- Diane Ladd was quite attractive in her younger days. I only know her from David Lynch's Wild at Heart, when she plays a crazy old bat.
- Ladd plays the "old lady" of her real-life hubby, Bruce Dern.
- I have to wonder what Old Blue Eyes thought about his daughter Nancy appearing in a movie about long-haired nogoodniks.
- This movie came out the same year as Nancy's hit song These Boots Are Made For Walking.
- Nazi flag draped coffin. Classy.
- Blues' famous speech during the funeral: "We wanna be free to do what we wanna do. We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by the man. And we wanna get loaded. And we wanna have a good time. That's what we're gonna do".
- You know it's a real party in the 60s when they bust out the bongo music.

Overall thoughts: Those who think of Roger Corman as a low-budget director who mainly followed the latest fads can take a look at Wild Angels to see the great man actually starting a trend. This is the first biker flick, three years before Easy Rider. It started the counter-culture fad, simple as that. Does that mean it's a good movie? Well, no. It's all a bit pointless really, with no real narrative thread. Just a bunch of bikers doing rebellious stuff. The acting is pretty great, led by a brooding performance by Fonda, but there's just not a lot of meat in this sandwich.

CORMANIA 2011 #5 - Dinoshark

8.02pm - Dinoshark (2010)
Our King's role: Producer and actor
Cast: Eric Balfour (The TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake), Iva Hasperger (EXORCISM), Roger Corman.

Plot: Trace McGraw (Balfour) returns to his hometown, a beachside resort in Mexico to run a fishing charter, just as a giant shark begins chomping on people. It's no ordinary shark though - it's a prehistoric dinosaur shark and it's hungry. McGraw teams up with a beautiful biologist (Hasperger) to try to kill the creature before more people die.

Observations:
- Rip off Jaws music. Check.
- Hello bad CGI dinoshark (which looks like a shark with the head of a T-Rex).
- Syfy movie cliche #21: Guy who returns to his hometown after being away for a while.
- Chompity chomp, byebye surfer!
- Nice gore as we see a half-eaten girl on the beach.
- This is a TV movie, so there's no nudity, but there are plenty of bikini-clad hot chicks.
- For the first time in this marathon, our King appears onscreen. Here he plays Dr Reeves, a scientist.
- They mention a sighting of a dinoshark in New Zealand, but they show a map of Indonesia on screen? Sloppy guys!
- Mariachi band sighting. But no guy with the giant guitar? Boo-urns!
- Yes! Dinoshark 1, helicopter 0. "You're gonna need a bigger chopper".
- Hey, that rocketlauncher looks like it was bought at the dollar store.
- More nice gore in the form of a decapitated head (yet another homage to Jaws).
- Ol' Dinoshark is on a roll, chomping all manner of floating vessels.
- Cheesy one-liner alert during the climactic showdown.

Overall thoughts:
As I said in my review of Sand Serpents, I'm a fan of these cheesy Syfy TV movies and I always go into them expecting three things - cheesy CGI, a nature-run-amok plotline and a washed up actor from the 80s. Dinoshark meets the first two criteria but not the third. It doesn't matter though, because it more than makes up for it elsewhere. I'd almost add a fourth expectation from these movies - the titular monster chomping a helicopter - and this one comes through. And then it keeps going, with boats, kayaks, even a parasailer getting the big chomp. Good cheesy fun!

CORMANIA 2011 - Dinner break

Time for some dinner. Nothing too noteworthy, just some McDonalds to keep the wolves from the door.

I also manage to get in some more quality time with my young son, and to catch the first half hour of the Blues-Chiefs Super rugby game. My team (the Blues) is leading when I head back into the cinema to get the marathon back underway.

Up next... Syfy monster mayhem!

CORMANIA 2011 #4 - The Masque of the Red Death

5:35pm - The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
Our King's role: Director and producer
Cast: Vincent Price (PIT AND THE PENDULUM), Hazel Court (DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS), Nigel Green (JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS), Patrick Magee (A CLOCKWORK ORANGE), Jane Asher (ALFIE)

Plot: A faceless stranger in a red hood warns of impeding doom for an English county, which is ruled by the evil Prince Prospero. While on an outing, Prospero kidnaps a village girl (Asher) along with her lover (David Weston) and father (Green). As Prospero becomes enamoured with his new lady friend, she soon discovers there is more to his evil than it would appear.
He is a Satan worshipper who holds ritualistic ceremonies in his castle. Gathering his "friends" at his castle to offer them sanctuary from the Red Death, Prospero holds a midnight masquerade ball. But who is the stranger in the red hood who shows up? Is he the devil, or something far more sinister?

Observations:
- Full disclosure: I've seen this movie before, but it's been at least 10 years since I've watched it.
- Corman moved production of his movies to England starting with this one, and the difference in sets is noticeable. They're much more extravagant than in his previous Edgar Allen Poe adaptions.
- Ah Vincent Price. My favourite actor ever. No one else compares.
- Price is fantastic here as the utterly decadent and evil Prince Prospero, who makes other suffer to amuse himself, like making his guests act like various barnyard animals.
- I do love a good black and white flick, but the colours Corman employs here are exquisite.
- There's satanic shenanigans afoot!
- A girl wandering around a darkened mansion/castle at night. Corman mastered these shots to a fine art time and time again.
- Crossbow bolt to the throat. Nice.
- I think the subplot about Hop Toad the midget is from a separate Poe story, Hop Frog.
- Hazel Court self-branding her breast with an upside down cross mark must have been quite edgy for its time.
- You can't say Prospero's parties aren't at least entertaining. That cat sure knows how to put on a shindig.
- There's that evil Vincent Price laugh echoing through the night. Even those who've never seen one of his movies will be familiar with it, thanks to Michael Jackson's Thriller.
- It's racial stereotype central during Court's dream(?) sacrifice scene. Jumping African native? Check. Bearded Chinese guy? Check. Stiff-necked Egyptian? Check.
- A double-bladed axe pendulum? Hmmm, I feel like I've seen that somewhere before.
- I guess they couldn't find a midget girl to play the dancer? That's clearly a little girl with an overdubbed adult's voice.
- Morale of the subplot: Don't mess with a midget's girl.
- The Dance of the Red Death reminds me of that annual event in Italy where people throw tomatoes at each other.

Overall thoughts: Roger Corman's Poe adaptions were the peak of his creative output, as far as I'm concerned. The Masque of the Red Death is probably my second favourite of them, after Pit and the Pendulum, and right up there among my top 5 Vincent Price movies of all time. Price's performance is, as always, top notch. I think Prospero may be the most out-and-out evil of all the characters he has played. I can't speak highly enough of the lavish sets and the use of colours. This movie is a feast for the eyes and a must see for any fan of cinema.

CORMANIA 2011 #3 - Bloodfist V: Human Target

3.50pm - Bloodfist V: Human Target (1994)
Our King's role: Executive producer
Cast: Don "the Dragon" Wilson (FUTURE KICK), Denise Duff (SUBSPECIES 2 and 3), Steve James (AMERICAN NINJA 1-3)

Plot: After being shot by some bad guys and plunging into a harbour, Jim Stanton (former world kickboxing champ Wilson) wakes up in hospital unable to remember anything about his life. His "wife" (Duff) turns up but she's just a girl named Michelle who the bad guys have paid to get him out of hospital. After a run in with Michelle's pimp/friend (James), she helps Stanton as he searches for clues about his life. It turns out his real name is Mike Wilkes and he's a government agent working undercover in a Chinese gang who've stolen plutonium. The gang wants Wilkes dead and the war is on! But everything isn't as it seems.

Observations:
- Alright, after two DVD movies it's time for some martial arts on VHS baby!
- Full disclosure: I haven't seen any of the previous 4 Bloodfist movies and I'm not sure that I've seen Don Wilson in any other movies. I do remember him from his stints on screen commentating for UFC and King of the Cage though.
- Black guy with a fingerless gloves, a cross earring and a jacket with no shirt? Pimptastic!
- Slow motion spin kick!
- Killer mullet one on of the heavies Stanton/Wilkes deals to.
- Hey, it's Bob from that 70s show (Don Stark) as a government agent!
- Hmmm, they haven't hooked up romantically, yet Michelle is lying naked in a bed next to Mike. What a slut.
- So many slow motion kicks and throws. So many.
- Man, that's some evil acupuncture. Not sure it's gonna fix her ailments though.
- I knew I recognised one of the bad guys in this movie. It's Yuji Okumoto, who played Chozen, the main bad guy in Karate Kid 2.
- Holy plot twist Batman!
- Steve James is quite good as a bad guy. Blood Fist V was his last theatrical role, hitting theatres after his death from pancreatic cancer. RIP tough guy.
- Naturally Wilson has to lose his shirt for the climactic fight scene.

Overall thoughts: Bloodfist 5 fell short of my expectations in some ways but far exceeded them in others. It's the fourth sequel in a low budget marital arts series, starring a real life kickboxer, so I was expecting it to be badly shot, with minimal plot and bad acting, but with plenty of cheese to make up for that. Instead what I got was a plot-driven action drama which was pretty well shot and had good acting performances across the board. There's not much cheesyness to it at all, but there doesn't need to be. The plot twists keep it interesting and the action scenes are above average (if a little heavy on the slow motion effects). Overall Blood Fist 5 is definitely worth watching.

CORMANIA 2011 - a break

Time for a quick break to get some fresh air. It's raining steadily outside, the perfect weather for a movie marathon.

I spend a few minutes playing with my son and check out the baseball scores to discover my Red Sox came back from that 4-0 deficit to beat the As 8-6. Nice!

Alright break over, time to get back into it. Up next: Martial arts from the 1990s!

CORMANIA 2011 #2 - Ga-s-s-s

1.53pm - Gas-s-s-s, or It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save it (1970)
Our King's role: Director/producer
Cast: Bob Corff (FRIGHT NIGHT), Bud Cort (the MASH movie), Talia Shore (ROCKY, GODFATHER series), Cindy Williams (AMERICAN GRAFFITI), Ben Vereen (ZOOBILEE ZOO).

Plot: A deadly gas kills off anyone under 25. A young hardcase anti-authoritarian type (Corff) and his girl (Elaine Giftos) find that life under these new circumstances isn't to their liking and hit the road. They run into a fellow group of survivors (early roles for Cort, Shore, Williams and Vereen) and continue travelling across country, encountering various situations, including a rock concert, a town run by a group of deluded American Football players, a wacky doctor, a golf course community run by a cart-driving gang, some bizarre American Indians and The Oracle. They end up at a pueblo commune and the marauding, dune buggie-driving American Footballers show up before a wacky finale.

Observations:
- We open with badly-drawn animation about a gas escaping from a nuclear research facility in Alaska. This is going to be an odd flick.
- Great 60s rock soundtrack. Groovy man!
- Amidst all the wacky humour, a shot of downtown Dallas with empty streets and an elderly couple dead in each others' arms is actually quite eerie.
- Ah, Cindy Williams how cute and perky you were.
- I can't look at Ben Vereen without thinking about him wearing animal ears, whiskers and a big ol' grin on Zoobilee Zoo. Haven't seen that show since I was a kid, but it creeped me out back then.
- Why are they shouting out the names of big screen movie stars while pretending to have a western shoot out? Wait, they really died? I'm confused.
- Hey, there's a cameo by well-known anti-war musician Country Joe McDonald of Country Joe and the Fish. The guitarist from that band, Barry Melton, is the man responsible for the soundtrack to this film.
- Free love awash with psychadelic colours and patterns. No 1960s/early 70s hippy movie would be complete without it.
- Gratuitous dune buggy chase scene!
- The one guy has a massive machine gun mounted on top of his dune buggy but never fires it. Lame!
- Gratuitous golf cart chase scene!
- Okay, the golf ball attack is pretty awesome and fun.
- "What was that, a bomb?", "No, it sounded more ironic than that". Uh, okay.
- What a far out ending man.

Overall thoughts: Wow. That was something. What that something is, I'm not quite sure. The main characters were likeable, the concept pretty fun (I'm a big fan of post-apocalyptic films, no matter what the genre) and it was fairly well shot, but a lot of the humour fell flat for me. At times it felt like an extended episode of The Monkees, if The Monkees had featured a few more adult-natured jokes. It could be that I'm from the wrong generation or that the humour hasn't dated well, but I only really laughed once or twice. I'd like to think there's some kind of message at the heart of this pretentious movie, but I'm damned if I know what it is. In saying all that, this isn't a bad movie per se - if you're looking for something quirky it definitely fits that bill.

CORMANIA 2011 #1 - Barbarian Queen

12.31pm - Barbarian Queen (1985)
Our King's role: Producer
Cast: Lana Clarkson (AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON), Katt Shea (PSYCHO III), Frank Zagarino (the SHADOWCHASER series).

Plot: A band of Roman soldiers attack and pillage a village right before the wedding of Amathea (Clarkson) and Argan (Zagarino), taking Argan prisoner and presumably killing Amathea. But she survives and sets off to rescue her man. Along the way she collects together various other butt-kicking chicks to join her on her quest. They arrive at the Roman city and discover Argon is being forced to fight as a gladiator. Joining up with the local underground (literally) and the gladiators, these bitchin' barbarian babes seek to free the slaves and and kill the evil Arrakur.

- My wife: "You know it's gonna be a good movie when there's boobs inside the first 30 seconds". Yep, I married a good'un.
- Let the comical over-dubbing begin! Strange as this is a US production, but it was filmed in Argentina, so I'm guessing a lot of the extras were Argentinian.
- By the look of Argan, I'm expecting Skeletor and Beast Man to turn up any second.
- Nice big fight scene early as Argan proves to be a wimp. He makes a fitting damsel in distress.
- Clarkson changes from revealing animal skins and headband to a frumpy red riding hood-esque outfit. Boo!
- Oh, she's back to the revealing outfit. That was close.
- And now she's topless and stretched out on some weird torture machine. Not sure how a fake metallic hand hanging down and barely touching a breast is torture.
- Frank Zagarino's acting is hilariously bad. His emotional scale ranges from bored to disinterested.
- The harem master is all kinds of fun. A fat guy with what looks like an oversized handbag on his head, a fu manchu mustache and an overdubbed voice that is more campy than a row of tents.
- Boobs galore, some full frontal nudity and now an orgy. This movie is every 14-year-old's dream come true.
- Poor Lana Clarkson. She was able to vanquish baddies like Arrakur but real evil would be her undoing in the frail form of Phil Spector.

Overall thoughts: Man, that was all kinds of good and the perfect way to kick off a movie marathon in honour of the King of the Bs. Three words sum up Barbarian Queen - fighting, swords and boobs. And what else could you ask for in a sword and sandal adventure? Plot? Bah, go watch a drama guy, 'cause we don't need your stinking plot here bucko! Lana Clarkson sure was attractive and looked great running around in her animal skins. Damn you Phil Spector!

Announcing Cormania 2011

It's time for another movie marathon! I'm pleased to announce Cormania 2011, which will be taking place this Saturday and Sunday (NZ time).

Inspired by the fantastic Doomed Moviethon, I intend to watch 11 Roger Corman movies over two days and will be blogging about it as I go. I wanted a marathon which could provide plenty of variety in terms of years and genres, and who better to provide that variety than the King of the Bs?

Because I want to take advantage of the resources I have at hand (VHS, DVD and a few AVI) and not have to go hunting for anything, I'm opening Cormania 2011 to movies that the great Roger Corman has produced, as well as those he has directed.

I'm not going to give away what titles I will be watching, but it's fair to say the genres are diverse, covering everything from a classy Edgar Allen Poe adaption to a low-budget CGI monster fish flick.

Stay tuned over the weekend (Friday and Saturday nights US time). It should be a lot of fun!