31 Nights of Terror 2015 #5 - Deathgasm (2015)

Deathgasm (2015)

Director: Jason Lei Howden
Starring: Milo Cawthorne, James Blake, Kimberley Crossman
Format: AVI
Plot: Two teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives.

Before sitting down to watch this one, the only thing I knew about it was that it was about heavy metal music. I was aware that it played at a film festival near me a couple of months ago and had even seen one or two publicity shots, but other than that I was going in blind.

The first thing that surprised me was that it's a New Zealand movie. Hell, if I'd known that I wouldn't have downloaded it (I don't DL movies from my own country, preferring to support the industry by buying physical copies of them). But boy am I glad that I did, and I'll be buying it as soon as I can find it on DVD!

That last sentence obviously gives away the fact that I love this movie. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's my joint favourite horror/comedy movie along with Shaun of the Dead. On top of that it's one of the best movies to come out of my homeland in a long time, and IMO much better than the recent What We Did in the Shadows, which seems to be a darling of the critics (I liked it, but Deathgasm to me is much better).

Maybe one of the reasons I dig Deathgasm so much is because I'm a metaller. Have been since I was 12 years old, and I'm now 40. Ask anyone who knew me as a teenager, and they'll tell you that I basically was the main character from this movie - a long-haired loner who lived for heavy metal. Well, without the ability to actually play guitar, but I do play a mean air axe.

But even with my love for all things metal, and of course all things horror, this movie could have still missed the mark as so many horror/comedy hybrids do. Instead it ticked all the boxes. The main characters are likeable and relatable, the comedy is hilarious (I don't want to give anything away, but I found myself in loud fits of laughter during the scene involving "marital aids"), the music kicks serious butt and best of all the gore (outrageously over the top ala Peter Jackson's Brain Dead or Bad Taste) is done with practical effects, not CGI. 

The only slight disappointment is in the climax, which doesn't live up to what it was building up to, but it's a small complaint. I can't recommend this movie enough and am damn proud that it came out of my country!

What I Watched - May 20-26 2015

WHAT I WATCHED - MAY 20-26, 2015:

 Deadly Prey (1987) VHS
- Pure “so bad its good” gold from director David Prior and his blond-mulleted actor brother Ted. Take Rambo, take The Most Dangerous Game… remove the budget, the good acting and the special effects and you have Deadly Prey. Every moment of this movie is unadulterated awesomeness. Ted plays a Nam vet who is kidnapped by some bad guys who love to hunt humans. Only they chose the wrong guy this time! Another from my own collection (all of which I’m selling off for space purposes), and one every Z-grade action movie fan needs to see (along with other Prior brothers efforts like Aerobicide, Sledgehammer and Raw Nerve).

Slash Dance (1989) AVI
- That’s a catchy title right? Some nice wordplay on the name of the popular 80s movie, Flashdance. Well, that’s all this pile of crap has going for it. The premise is simple - girls auditioning for a musical start getting picked off by a serial killer so a sexy female cop goes undercover to catch him. There’s nothing wrong with a slasher that keeps it simple. But there’s plenty wrong with a slasher that features virtually no blood, no skin (come on, it’s a movie about dancing girls!) and some of the worst acting ever put to screen (the lead and several other of the “actors” were wrestlers from the short-lived Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, and acting wasn’t their strong point). Instead it has tedious amounts of girls in leotards “dancing” on stage - I use that word very, very reluctantly. Yawn, yawn, yawn.

Mortuary (2005) AVI
- Oh Tobe Hooper, we knew ye well. It’s well known that Hooper has gone from genre hero (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist) to genre zero (virtually everything after Texas Chainsaw 2 in 1986). Sadly, Mortuary doesn’t represent a return to form for him. The premise is okay - family move into an old house to restart an old mortuary and come under attack by a fungal growth that turns dead people into zombies - but it’s all done rather poorly (especially the CGI, yikes). Not the worst movie ever made, but definitely nothing worth wasting your time on.

JUDGEMENT MAY: I Survived a Zombie Holocaust (2014) DVD
- Pretty much the only time I buy movies on their released date is when it’s a New Zealand movie I really want to see, like this one. It was released on DVD and in a few cinemas here in NZ on Friday May 22. I picked it up a day later and watched it right away, and I wasn’t disappointed. It definitely feels very New Zealand-y, mixing our sense of humour with gore in the same vein as Braindead, Bad Taste and Black Sheep. I love the fact it’s about real zombies attacking the cast and crew of a low budget zombie movie, which gives it ammo to take shots at the movie industry as well as the overdone zombie sub-genre. NZ horror is on a real roll lately, between this, Housebound and What We Do in the Shadows.

Joe (1970) DVD
- With Memorial Day happening in the US, I wanted to watch something very ‘Murican. The cover to this one showed an Army uniform, a guy with a gun and the Stars and Stripes - sold! I knew nothing about it going in and found it to be a gritty, gloomy look at life in the late 60s and early 70s, a time of racial and civil unrest in Vietnam-era America. The late, great Peter Boyle shows off the grumpy chops he’d use so well in the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond, as a disgruntled, racist blue collar worker who befriends a rich guy with a wayward daughter, as the two go on a rampage against hippies. Blunt, un-PC, brutal in places and with a great ending. Kind of like Easy Rider without the motorbikes.

Mad Mission 4: You Never Die Twice (1986)

 The cover of my VHS copy of Mad Mission 4

Mad Mission 4: You Never Die Twice (1986)
Director: Ringo Lam
Starring: Samuel Hui, Karl Maka, Sally Yeh
Format: VHS

Plot: Nancy Ho (Sylvia Chang) is kidnapped by villains who want to obtain a hi-tech prism, created by a Hong Kong professor, that can grant superhuman powers. In exchange for her return, Ho's husband Baldy (Maka), his buddy Sam (Hui) and the professor's daughter Sally (Yeh), joined by Baldy's son Baldy Jr, fly to New Zealand to deliver the hi-tech prism to the crooks. However, not allowing to let the crooks succeed, they must band together to prevent the prism from being used.

I haven't seen any of the prior three Mad Mission movies (which I understand were originally titled Aces Go Places). I picked up this VHS a couple of years ago and have been meaning to watch it, mainly because it's a Hong Kong action movie which is partly filmed in my home country, New Zealand.

This movie will mainly be of interest to fans of Jackie Chan-style martial arts action/comedy flicks, but has added appeal to New Zealanders like me. It's fun seeing some familiar sights (downtown Auckland, downtown Wellington, Auckland airport, Huntly Power Station etc) and how they were in 1986. Any Kiwi will easily pick up on the goofy geography used here - during a single, short car chase, our heroes leave Auckland Airport, drive over the Auckland Harbour Bridge and are suddenly in Wellington (which is at least an 8-hour drive from Auckland).

As I already mentioned, this looks and feels like one of Jackie Chan's Hong Kong movies, and leading man Hui even looks and fights like Chan (and has the same goofy facial expressions). His fighting isn't as intricate as Chan, but Hui still holds his own during the action scenes and is likeable enough.

Karl Maka is his bumbling sidekick Baldy (although the English language dubbing calls him Cody throughout), a role he plays completely for comedic value. Maka's goofy antics wear thin after a while - the best stuff happens towards the end when he's held captive and Hui and Yeh are allowed to operate without him.

The supporting cast also has some familiar faces, such as main baddie Ronald Lacey, the Nazi with the disfigured hand in Raiders of the Lost Ark. The script even plays homage to that particular role during the climax. Kiwis will also recognise prolific NZ actor Peter McCauley (LOST WORLD TV series) in the role as Lacey's head goon.

Movies like this fall or stand on their action set-pieces, and there are plenty of good ones (helicopter-speedboat chase, bazooka fired from helicopter, car jumping between high-rise buildings etc) showcased here. Director Ringo Lam would go on to helm a string of Chow Yun-Fat movies as well as a couple of late-90s JVCD flicks (Maximum Risk and The Replicant), and during this early effort he shows a good eye for fast-paced action. Sure, things get goofy Hong Kong-style, including a series of insane stunts involving a toddler falling off a skyscraper, but for the most part Lam keeps it from getting too groanworthy. The only major mis-step is a scene at an ice hockey game, which is played for pure comedy but isn't really funny.

In keeping with the Jackie Chan comparison, the end credits even feature bloopers and behind-the-scenes footage, something that Chan's movies are well-known for.

Mad Mission 4 is a lot of fun. Highly recommended for martial arts fans and those who enjoy their action mixed with wacky comedy.

Air Force Two (2006)

Air Force Two (2006)
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith
Starring: David Keith, Mariel Hemingway, David Milbern, Jill Bennett
Format: DVD (Flashback)

I got this low budget DVD as part of a "5 Disc Action Collection" released by Flashback Entertainment. I popped it into the DVD player in search of something low key to watch on a Sunday night, without knowing anything about it.

The first thing I noticed was the name Brian Trenchard-Smith pop up on screen as director, which got my attention. The ozploitation legend directed some real classics in the 70s and 80s (TURKEY SHOOT, DEAD-END DRIVE IN, FROG DREAMING, BMX BANDITS etc), before getting the "honour" of doing two Leprechaun sequels in the 90s. He's carried on working consistently since then, although the names of some of his more recent movies (Atomic Dog? Pimpin' Pee Wee?) had me curious and a little worried.

The second thing I noticed was that the scenery looked very familiar, and so did a lot of the minor cast members and extras. A quick check of IMDB.com confirmed that this movie (known as IN HER LINE OF FIRE upon release) was shot here in my home nation, New Zealand.

David Keith (AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN, FIRESTARTER) is US Vice President Walker, whose plane (the titular Air Force Two) crashlands in the Pacific Ocean. Walker, secret service agent Lynn Delaney (Hemingway, STAR 80) and a reporter (Bennett) wash up on an island inhabited by military rebels, headed by the maniacal Armstrong (Milbern). Capturing the second most powerful man in the western world would be quite a coup for Armstrong and his men, but the VP is an ex-soldier and his secret service gal-pal is quite the Rambo-ette, so it's not going to be easy.

The acting is good across the board, with veterans Keith and Hemingway dependable as ever. Milbern also stands out as the bad guy - his look and acting style kept reminding me of Bruce Willis (not a bad thing). The action is okay, but sadly you wouldn't know this is a Trenchard-Smith movie if you didn't see the credits. Fans of his ozploitation stuff will be disappointed if they're expecting anything like that.

Other reviews of this movie mention a lesbian love subplot between the characters played by Hemingway and Bennett (the latter, according to IMBD is openly lesbian), but there was nothing of that in the cut I watched. I guess that plot point was taken out for some releases? It's a shame, because it might have lifted Air Force Two above the level of run-of-the-mill action flick.

I probably enjoyed Air Force Two a little big more than most non-New Zealanders will. I had fun playing spot-the-Kiwi-actor, and also got a few laughs out of the island terrorists speaking in their native tongue (in reality the actors were just stringing together a bunch of non-sequitor words in our native tongue, Maori). But for the non-NZ viewer this is an adequate if unspectacular time waster. It's worth a watch on a lazy afternoon.

31 Nights of Terror #27 - Wound (2010)

Wound (2010)
Director: David Blyth
Starring: Kate O'Rourke, Te Kaea Beri, Campbell Cooley
Format: DVD

Overall thoughts: Okay, so I'm getting a bit slack at taking notes. But I don't think my notes from watching this controversial New Zealand film would do anyone any good anyway. Let me summarise by just saying this is one messed up movie. It's almost David Lynch-esque in its weird vibe and surreality (Mulholland Drive springs to mind), if Lynch decided to jump on the torture porn bandwagon and throw in some nasty gore (be warned, this movie has the most realistic castration I have ever seen). Rape, incest, castration, strange things done with bodywaste, sadomasochism - there is plenty here that's meant to shock. But if you get past all of that there's actually quite a meloncholy, touching little story behind it all. Not for everyone.