White Ghost (1988)

White Ghost (1988)
Director: BJ Davis
Starring: William Katt, Martin Hewitt, Reb Brown
Format: Stream

Plot: An M.I.A. US soldier nicknamed White Ghost (Katt) lives in hiding in the jungles of communist Vietnam. The US army finds out about him and sends a black ops team to rescue him. However, the team is lead by a man who wants White Ghost dead.

The Greatest American Hero was one of my favourite shows when I was a kid. The show aired from 1981 to 1983, when I was aged 6 through to 9, the perfect age to appreciate the show's wacky appeal. Hell, I just loved getting to see a live action caped superhero in action, even if he couldn't fly properly or use his superheroes to save himself. And that theme song... awesome.

Lead star William Katt unfortunately faded into obscurity after the show's run, apart from showing up in a couple of the House horror/comedies I honestly couldn't tell you what he's been doing since. A look at his IMDB page shows that after Greatest American Hero he acted in a bunch of Perry Mason TV movies. Who knew? Well, luckily for us after that he chose White Ghost, a low-budget action flick that I happened to find in full on Youtube. The listing caught my eye because of one name - Reb Brown - an actor who I've raved about before on this blog for his bad, bad acting which is a sight to behold. Sadly Brown has only a small role in this, but despite that it's a good ol' time anyway.

Besides Brown and Katt, White Ghost also features Martin Hewitt (THE PARATROOPER), making for something of a bad-acting trinity. And it's directed by the guy who made the Brandon Lee vehicle Lazer Mission!

The storyline is part Missing in Action, part Predator (the team aspect, not the alien) and part Rambo. There are plenty of great cheesy moments, from Katt's frizzy mullet (which he unfortunately gets cut early in the piece) to the facepaint he dons that makes him look like the bassist from a Norwegian black metal band. After growing up on Katt as a comedic actor it's hard to take him seriously in a straight-forward action movie like this, and his facial expressions don't help. Let's just say his stoic face is more Alzheimer's patient than ass-kicking soldier.

The climax of White Ghost is typical of these movies, with all the explosions and gunfighting an action fan can wish for. My only complaint is the misuse of Reb Brown - he spends most of the movie in an office and only enters the jungle in the third act. He does get to brandish two machine guns and use his trademark yell, which I appreciate, but it's too little too late. I really wish they had cast Brown in the lead role (ala STRIKE COMMANDO) or at least in the main baddie role which instead went to Wayne Crawford (BARRACUDDA). But that complaint aside, White Ghost is a fun actioner - not quite as cheesy as classics like Strike Commando or Deadly Prey but worthwhile for fans of cheesy shoot-em-ups.

What I Watched - November 15-21 2015

WHAT I WATCHED - NOVEMBER 15-21 2015:

Don't Go in the House (1979) DVD
- I've owned this as part of a Shriek Show triple-feature boxset, (alongside a couple of low budget crime actioners - Cop Killers and Tenement) for a few years now but never got around to watching it. I'm glad I finally did, because this is an awesome gritty old school urban horror/exploitation film along the lines of Maniac. The story itself has elements of Psycho - a guy with mommy issues killing young ladies (although Norman never used a flamethrower!). There's actually some quite creepy moments involving burned bodies coming back to life. One for fans of sleazy late 70s, early 80s grindhouse horror flicks!

Diamonds of Kilimandjaro (1983) DVD

- I own this in another Shriek Show box set that I got at the same time as the aforementioned one, this one called "Jungle Girls". It's actually a Jess Franco movie but is pretty tame by his standards. Essentially Tarzan with a female in the vine-swinging role, this one has little in the way of gore and a lot in the way of nudity. It's pretty run of the mill - kind of like a Lenzi/Deodato jungle movie without any of the gut-munching or torture. Watchable but hard to recommend.

Stryker (1983) DVD

- Since I was trawling through long-neglected boxsets on my shelves, I pulled out one called Grindhouse Experience 2, which has something like 10 movies of various drive-in fare. The name of this one, plus the artwork, made it an easy choice to begin making my way through this set. I do love a good cheesy 80s Mad Max-ripoff, and that's what you get here from Filipino director Cirio H Santiago. While this one's not terrible, there are better examples of the genre out there. The final battle is pretty cool, but the lead-up to it is sloppy and quite frankly boring in a lot of places. The highlight is a band of "little people" who dress like Jawas and sound way too much like animated penguin Pingu. Sadly they are on screen for far too little time - if they'd been around more I might have enjoyed this more. A good time-waster, but probably only for the hardcore fan of low budget post-apocalyptic fare.

Blazing Magnum (1976) DVD

- Next up in Grindhouse Experience is this is a movie also known as Shadows in an Empty Room, although that name makes it sound like a giallo, and it's definitely not. Blazing Magnum is a more apt name, because what we have here is an Italian/Canadian production that is clearly influenced by Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry flicks (one of the sequels of course being Magnum Force). Like Harry Callahan, the main cop in this one uses "unorthodox" methods to get what he needs. With a great cast that includes Martin Landau, John Saxon and Tisa Farrow, and containing one of the best car chase scenes I've seen in a long time, this is great stuff. Definitely recommended.

Slavers (1978) DVD

- Continuing down the Grindhouse Experience 2 road, we move from police action to pure exploitation. Coming in the wake of the highly-successful mini series Roots, this trods over similar ground, telling unflinching stories of the slave trade in Africa in the 1800s. An African couple who are separated by the bad guys are part of the focus, but most of the time is spent on the various white men and women (including Britt Ekland), most of which are completely reprehensible. One scene in particular - involving target practice on swimming natives - is quite shocking. My biggest complaint is that the racist villains in this for the most part don't get a satisfactory comeuppance. Obviously this is never comfortable viewing, but is a good reminder of a dark period in man's history.

Deathgasm (2015) AVI

- I watched this a couple of weeks ago as part of 31 Nights of Terror and enjoyed it so much I had to watch it again, this time with my girlfriend. Check out my review here: http://moviegeeknz.blogspot.co.nz/2015/10/31-nights-of-terror-2015-5-deathgasm.html.

Three Supermen Against Godfather (1979) DVD

- Back into the Grindhouse Experience 2 boxset, and next up we have an all-together odd little movie otherwise known as Supermenler. Apparently the 9th of 11 Three Supermen movies which ranged from 1967 to 1986, this is a goofy comedy set in Turkey that feels like a low budget episode of the 1960s Batman TV series. Most of the intended comedy falls flat, while there are unintentional laughs (one guy's whiney dubbed voice is hilarious). The theme song that plays constantly throughout the climax is so, so annoying. The setting is apt, because this is one big turkey.

Mister Deathman (1977) DVD

- The last of the Grindhouse 2 movies for a while (there are others I haven't seen, but I'll save them for another time) is this very poor excuse for a blaxploitation movie. Filmed in South Africa, it stars the main guy from Zombie Island Massacre who tries to play a suave Bond-like superspy but his acting is beyond terrible. The bad guys are boring, our hero seemingly gets captured every few minutes, and the plot is groan-worthy. If there was a behind-the-scenes documentary about the making of this movie I'd watch it - it would be interesting to hear how the main black actor found filming in apartheid-era South Africa - and let's face it, it would have to be better than the actual movie itself.

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009) DVD

- I really have to stop choosing movies to watch based on the actors involved. That bit me on the ass with Old 37 and it kind of did again here, and Bill Moseley is involved again (along with horror fan darling Danielle Harris). Bill's the definite highlight here, as he's in full Crazy Ralph from Friday the 13th mode (he even dresses the same, so it's obviously a homage). The movie starts off pretty well with a good opening murder and some time in an asylum, but when it switches to the present day and turns the spotlight on various annoying teens, things break down. I couldn't wait for these douchebags to get dead, and unfortunately it took so long to happen, with endless teen partying bogging things down. Sloppy editing and the fact that it looks like it was shot on a handicam (not in terms of shakiness, but of quality - it feels like a home movie, not a film) make this one a pretty unbearable mess.

MOVEMBER MINI-MOVIETHON

- November is of course the month when men grow all shapes and sizes of mustachios in the name of charity (not me, I'm be-goateed all year round, gotta hide those double chins somehow). So, with that in mind, I decided to find movies featuring standout supporting performances by upper-lip caterpillars.

Turkey Shoot (1982) DVD

- First up is Roger Ward's menacing mo-and-eyebrows combo from this Australian exploitation (Oz-ploitation) classic. I've always loved this movie - it's beautifully shot, has plenty of action and its simple storyline is essentially Most Dangerous Game mixed with 1984. But it also has plenty of tasty cheese to stop it from being too mainstream, like the hairy "freak" hunter, the woman's exploding arrows, the weird futuristic vehicles and the pre-requisite smatterings of T&A and attempted rape. Steve Railsback is a weird choice for a leading man - the guy who would go on to play an uber-creepy Ed Gein is hardly charismatic pin-up material. But that's not to take away from this movie, which is a must for any fans of exploitation flicks.

Witchfinder General (1968) DVD

- As a huge Vincent Price fan (I collect his movies on DVD) this is one that had managed to slip through the cracks, until now. Price's facial hair isn't anything too special, but hey, it's there, so it makes this movie count for this moviethon! Okay, so I was just looking for an excuse to include this one. Vincent is great as always, although rather subdued by his standards (after watching a doco on director Michael Reeves it seems he told the legendary actor to tone down his performance). The supporting cast is great (Ian Ogilvy is always good to watch) and this gets quite brutal in places (like the burning of the witch at the stake - my DVD has a lot of the cut violence restored). This is essentially a western set in ye olde England, and it's a good one! Definite recommendation.

The Big Lebowski (1998) AVI

- I'm sure everyone has a movie or two that it seems EVERYONE has seen and enjoyed, but which they've managed to miss somehow. Rather embarrassingly, this is that movie for me. I know it's a cult classic and I do enjoy the Coen brothers, but this one just never found its way in front of my eyes. I had it on my list on Netflix to watch a few months ago, but now when I went to watch it... it's not on Netflix anymore. Don't you hate that? Anyway, a quick acquisition from an "alternative source" and now I can finally say I've seen The Big Lebowski and now know what all the memes and quotes are in reference to. Oh yeah, obviously the mustache in this one belongs to Sam Elliott's The Stranger, although there are a couple of other commendable face-hair efforts in this movie. As for the movie itself, it is as good as everyone makes it out to be. The Dude abides man!

What I Watched - May 20-26 2015

WHAT I WATCHED - MAY 20-26, 2015:

 Deadly Prey (1987) VHS
- Pure “so bad its good” gold from director David Prior and his blond-mulleted actor brother Ted. Take Rambo, take The Most Dangerous Game… remove the budget, the good acting and the special effects and you have Deadly Prey. Every moment of this movie is unadulterated awesomeness. Ted plays a Nam vet who is kidnapped by some bad guys who love to hunt humans. Only they chose the wrong guy this time! Another from my own collection (all of which I’m selling off for space purposes), and one every Z-grade action movie fan needs to see (along with other Prior brothers efforts like Aerobicide, Sledgehammer and Raw Nerve).

Slash Dance (1989) AVI
- That’s a catchy title right? Some nice wordplay on the name of the popular 80s movie, Flashdance. Well, that’s all this pile of crap has going for it. The premise is simple - girls auditioning for a musical start getting picked off by a serial killer so a sexy female cop goes undercover to catch him. There’s nothing wrong with a slasher that keeps it simple. But there’s plenty wrong with a slasher that features virtually no blood, no skin (come on, it’s a movie about dancing girls!) and some of the worst acting ever put to screen (the lead and several other of the “actors” were wrestlers from the short-lived Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, and acting wasn’t their strong point). Instead it has tedious amounts of girls in leotards “dancing” on stage - I use that word very, very reluctantly. Yawn, yawn, yawn.

Mortuary (2005) AVI
- Oh Tobe Hooper, we knew ye well. It’s well known that Hooper has gone from genre hero (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist) to genre zero (virtually everything after Texas Chainsaw 2 in 1986). Sadly, Mortuary doesn’t represent a return to form for him. The premise is okay - family move into an old house to restart an old mortuary and come under attack by a fungal growth that turns dead people into zombies - but it’s all done rather poorly (especially the CGI, yikes). Not the worst movie ever made, but definitely nothing worth wasting your time on.

JUDGEMENT MAY: I Survived a Zombie Holocaust (2014) DVD
- Pretty much the only time I buy movies on their released date is when it’s a New Zealand movie I really want to see, like this one. It was released on DVD and in a few cinemas here in NZ on Friday May 22. I picked it up a day later and watched it right away, and I wasn’t disappointed. It definitely feels very New Zealand-y, mixing our sense of humour with gore in the same vein as Braindead, Bad Taste and Black Sheep. I love the fact it’s about real zombies attacking the cast and crew of a low budget zombie movie, which gives it ammo to take shots at the movie industry as well as the overdone zombie sub-genre. NZ horror is on a real roll lately, between this, Housebound and What We Do in the Shadows.

Joe (1970) DVD
- With Memorial Day happening in the US, I wanted to watch something very ‘Murican. The cover to this one showed an Army uniform, a guy with a gun and the Stars and Stripes - sold! I knew nothing about it going in and found it to be a gritty, gloomy look at life in the late 60s and early 70s, a time of racial and civil unrest in Vietnam-era America. The late, great Peter Boyle shows off the grumpy chops he’d use so well in the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond, as a disgruntled, racist blue collar worker who befriends a rich guy with a wayward daughter, as the two go on a rampage against hippies. Blunt, un-PC, brutal in places and with a great ending. Kind of like Easy Rider without the motorbikes.

MAY-DE TO BE MOCKED - Angels Brigade (1979)

 Note: Throughout the month of May I will be watching Mockbusters, those low-budget movies which are made purely to cash in on a recent successful blockbuster. I call this May-de to be Mocked!  

Angels Brigade (1979)
Director: Greydon Clark
Starring: Robin Greer, Susan Kiger, Jack Palance, Peter Lawford
Format: Streaming (Youtube)

Plot: Meet six women and a teenage girl who never expected to risk their lives fighting for justice. A schoolteacher had seen one too many kids succumb to drugs. A Las Vegas entertainer learned her brother had been beaten by a drug pusher. A martial arts teacher knew how insidious drugs were among children. A top model knew that drugs were destroying her life. A stunt driver was in shock when her brother overdosed  on drugs. Add a nosy schoolgirl and a policewoman and you've got the Angels Brigade who strike back against the evil fat cats pushing drugs to kids.

AKA Seven from Heaven, Angels Revenge

In the late 1970s Charlie's Angels ruled the TV screen, with it's lightweight tales of three beautiful women fighting the bad guys and solving crime, all the while striking poses in bikinis and perfectly-coifered hair. Sensing a chance to cash in on this, B-grade actor-turned-director Greydon Clark took this concept to the big screen.

But we all know that taking a TV show to the movie screen you need to make everything bigger. Charlie's Angels had three bimbo crimefighters? Well, let's double that! And then add one more! Yep let's have seven girls! And those TV Angels don't really cover the demographics very well, they're too white. So let's add in an Asian girl (a martial arts expert, naturally) and a black girl (a take-no-nonsense sassy stunt driver). The others can be a cop, a pop star, a schoolteacher, a slutty model… hell, let's throw in the cop's little sister to cover the teenage girl demographic!

Once our seven girls are assembled (rather briskly one must add, let's not let plot get in the way of things here), they soon target an assortment of drug pusher baddies. The big boss is ex-Rat Packer Peter Lawford (so sozzled he has to sit for most of his scenes), and his head henchman is scene-stealing bad guy par-excellence Jack Palance. Add in an abundance of machine-gun-toting, generic bad guys, and we're good to go.

Let's face it, you don't watch this kind of movie for the plot, dialogue or acting. Which is just as well, because all three are frankly awful.

Nobody behaves in the least bit logically. Two of the Angels break into a baddie compound and are walking out in the open when two baddies turn a corner. What do the girls do to avoid detection? They stand perfectly still, right out in the open, in daylight. And it works!

The lines are soap opera-level and except for some good supporting performances (from seasoned character actors like Palance, Jim Backus, Neville Brand and Pat Buttram), all of the acting from the lead bimbos is so bad it's unintentionally humourous. The worst perpetrator is the late Jacqueline Cole, who plays the schoolteacher. Her acting is so bad I looked up the credits to find out who she was sleeping with to get her (prominent) role. Sure enough, she was married to director Clark. Enough said.

But as I said, plot, dialogue and acting aren't overly important here. What really saves this movie is that everything is so corny, over-the-top and, well, "70s", that it gives it a certain charm. The lead girls are all attractive and it helps that they get to kick butt, even busting out a souped-up van full of hidden weapons that's like something out of an episode of the A-Team.

In fact, that's probably the best comparison I can make - Angels Revenge feels a lot like an extra-long episode of a Stephen J. Cannell TV show. I never really saw Charlie's Angels so can't compare there, but I grew up on 80s TV and this feels as fun and harmless as anything from The A-Team, Knight Rider or Macgyver.

Mad Mission 4: You Never Die Twice (1986)

 The cover of my VHS copy of Mad Mission 4

Mad Mission 4: You Never Die Twice (1986)
Director: Ringo Lam
Starring: Samuel Hui, Karl Maka, Sally Yeh
Format: VHS

Plot: Nancy Ho (Sylvia Chang) is kidnapped by villains who want to obtain a hi-tech prism, created by a Hong Kong professor, that can grant superhuman powers. In exchange for her return, Ho's husband Baldy (Maka), his buddy Sam (Hui) and the professor's daughter Sally (Yeh), joined by Baldy's son Baldy Jr, fly to New Zealand to deliver the hi-tech prism to the crooks. However, not allowing to let the crooks succeed, they must band together to prevent the prism from being used.

I haven't seen any of the prior three Mad Mission movies (which I understand were originally titled Aces Go Places). I picked up this VHS a couple of years ago and have been meaning to watch it, mainly because it's a Hong Kong action movie which is partly filmed in my home country, New Zealand.

This movie will mainly be of interest to fans of Jackie Chan-style martial arts action/comedy flicks, but has added appeal to New Zealanders like me. It's fun seeing some familiar sights (downtown Auckland, downtown Wellington, Auckland airport, Huntly Power Station etc) and how they were in 1986. Any Kiwi will easily pick up on the goofy geography used here - during a single, short car chase, our heroes leave Auckland Airport, drive over the Auckland Harbour Bridge and are suddenly in Wellington (which is at least an 8-hour drive from Auckland).

As I already mentioned, this looks and feels like one of Jackie Chan's Hong Kong movies, and leading man Hui even looks and fights like Chan (and has the same goofy facial expressions). His fighting isn't as intricate as Chan, but Hui still holds his own during the action scenes and is likeable enough.

Karl Maka is his bumbling sidekick Baldy (although the English language dubbing calls him Cody throughout), a role he plays completely for comedic value. Maka's goofy antics wear thin after a while - the best stuff happens towards the end when he's held captive and Hui and Yeh are allowed to operate without him.

The supporting cast also has some familiar faces, such as main baddie Ronald Lacey, the Nazi with the disfigured hand in Raiders of the Lost Ark. The script even plays homage to that particular role during the climax. Kiwis will also recognise prolific NZ actor Peter McCauley (LOST WORLD TV series) in the role as Lacey's head goon.

Movies like this fall or stand on their action set-pieces, and there are plenty of good ones (helicopter-speedboat chase, bazooka fired from helicopter, car jumping between high-rise buildings etc) showcased here. Director Ringo Lam would go on to helm a string of Chow Yun-Fat movies as well as a couple of late-90s JVCD flicks (Maximum Risk and The Replicant), and during this early effort he shows a good eye for fast-paced action. Sure, things get goofy Hong Kong-style, including a series of insane stunts involving a toddler falling off a skyscraper, but for the most part Lam keeps it from getting too groanworthy. The only major mis-step is a scene at an ice hockey game, which is played for pure comedy but isn't really funny.

In keeping with the Jackie Chan comparison, the end credits even feature bloopers and behind-the-scenes footage, something that Chan's movies are well-known for.

Mad Mission 4 is a lot of fun. Highly recommended for martial arts fans and those who enjoy their action mixed with wacky comedy.

Blastfighter (1984)

 The cover of my VHS copy of Blastfighter

Blastfighter (1984)

Director: Lamberto Bava

Starring: Michael Sopkiw, Valentina Forte, George Eastman

Format: VHS (Medusa)

Italian director Lamberto Bava is best known to most of us as the son of the great Mario Bava and for his gory horror movies Demons and Demons 2. But he dabbled in other genres as well. In 1984 he helmed two action movies, the much-maligned Devil Fish (victim of a MST3K lampooning) and the lesser-known Blastfighter.

Jake "Tiger" Sharp (Sopkiw, 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK) is an ex-cop just released from jail for the murder of the man who killed his wife. He heads to his old hometown in the mountains of Georgia, where he is soon butting heads with the redneck locals, led by former rival Tom (George Eastman, 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS). Tom, his brother Wally (Stefano Mingardo, ATLANTIS INTERCEPTORS) and their hillbilly buddies are torturing wildlife for a Hong Kong businessman, who uses the animals to make aphrodisiacs for the Asian market.

Tiger's daughter Connie (Valentina Forte) shows up unexpectedly and after the war escalates father and daughter are soon fleeing the killer hillbillies through the mountain forest. With his back against the wall, Tiger retrieves a special gun given to him by a cop buddy and goes on the rampage, killing the rednecks off until he faces a final showdown with Tom.

Plot-wise, Blastfighter is a fairly predictable revenge-in-the-woods flick with elements of Deliverance, Walking Tall and First Blood. If it were an American production it would definitely be worth watching, but the Italian influence makes it even more fun. It's got the overdubbed voices we all love from Italian cinema (including some hiliarious redneck accents), a synth-heavy Euro soundtrack by Guido & Maurizio De Angelis (who did a bunch of Bud Spencer/Terrence Hill comedies), and even a cameo by another Italian director, Michele Soavi (CEMETERY MAN), who was assistant director for this film.

Most of the fun comes from the Italian take on American hillbillies, which is pretty campy, and there's more unintentional humour in famiiliar places (like vehicles exploding in huge fireballs from just a small crash into a ditch). There's also a really cool action set piece towards the end, with lots of explosions, smoke and spotlights, and the final shot (playing off an earlier scene of a truck full of animal carcasses) is well done.

Blastfighter is an excellent revenge flick and well worth hunting down, if you'll excuse the pun.

SUMMER OF 87 #11 - Death Wish 4

 The cover of my VHS copy of Death Wish 4

6pm, Day 2:

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown
Director: J Lee Thompson
Starring: Charles Bronson, Kay Lenz, John P Ryan
Format: VHS (Kerridge Odeon Amalgamated)

Plot: Architect/vigilante Paul Kersey (Bronson) takes on the members of a vicious Los Angeles drug cartel to stop the flow of drugs after his girlfriend's (Lenz) daughter dies from an overdose.

- Unfortunately this marathon hasn't had as much action as I would have liked. Let's change that with some mindless revenge!
- I've seen the original Death Wish but none of the sequels.
- J Lee Thompson (GUNS OF NAVARONE, the original CAPE FEAR) is a top director. I somewhat liked what he did with another Bronson vehicle, WHITE BUFFALO, and he also helmed the underrated slasher HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
- I've always had a bit of a thing for Kay Lenz (WHITE LINE FEVER, HOUSE).
- Wow, Dana Barron, who plays the daughter of Kersey's girlfriend, sure did grow up between 1983 (when she played Clark Griswald's annoying daughter Audrey in NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION) and 1987.
- And there's Mark Pellegrino (Satan on SUPERNATURAL, Paul Bennett on DEXTER) in an early bit role as a punk rocker!
- Dig the Wine Salesman bit. Kaboom!
- Pellegrino's not the only Supernatural alumni in this movie. Mitch Pileggi has a bit role as well.
- Bronson + uzi + factory full of bad guys = a good ol' time. Well, not for the bad guys.
- A sure sign you're watching a movie made no later than the 1980s: it contains at least one scene set in a Roller Rink.
- Well, that was certainly an impressive exit for the main bad guy.

Overall thoughts: I haven't seen any of the other Death Wish sequels, so I can't tell you how well this one stacks up against them. But as a standalone it's fairly good. Not as jam-packed full of action as I was hoping, but it has enough explosions, gunfights etc to keep things entertaining. Bronson is as brooding as ever, albeit getting old by this stage and pushing the bounds of credibility as an action star. But he blows away people with a big gun, and that's about all you want from a Death Wish movie, right?

SUMMER OF 87 #1: American Ninja 2

 The cover of my VHS copy of American Ninja 2

 

10am, Day 1:

American Ninja 2: The Confrontation
Director: Sam Firstenberg
Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Larry Poindexter, Gary Conway, Jeff Celentano
Format: VHS (RCA Columbia)

Plot: On a remote Caribbean island, Army Rangers Joe Armstrong (Dudikoff) and Curtis Jackson (James) investigate the disappearance of several marines, which leads him to The Lion (Conway), a super-criminal who has kidnapped a local scientist and mass-produced an army of mutant Ninja warriors.

- Opening disclosure: I haven't seen this movie. I have seen the first American Ninja, but not in about 20 years. I remember enjoying it though.
- A bar brawl and our first shot of ninjas inside the first two minutes. Nice!
- "Move to the City" by Guns n Roses! Great soundtrack so far.
- Apparently this was filmed in South Africa. Interesting that Apartheid-era South Africa would double for a Carribean island.
- WTF? They just had some other guy standing in for Dudikoff in a scene of Armstrong walking out of an office, and they showed his face clearly. The guy doesn't even look anything like Dudikoff! Whoops!
- Classic moment as Joe and Curtis leap off a huge cliff and land in a boat like they had only jumped a few feet.
- One thing you can always count on from an 80s action flick: At least one of the thugs will have a great mullet.
- They've done a pretty good job hiding the fact this was filmed in South Africa... until that barmaid spoke in a heavy Afrikaaners accent.
- The main bad guy, The Lion, is played by Gary Conway, who starred in the late-60s TV series Land of the Giants.
- Great scene with a ninja being dragged behind a truck, then climbing onto it, ending in a nice big explosion.
- An ending with ninja fights _and_ gun fights. Making me double happy!

Overall thoughts: What can I say? American Ninja 2 was the perfect way to get this movie marathon started. It's just a fun ninja flick, with everything a discerning action fan could ask for.
The meat in the sandwich is of course the ninja fights, and there's plenty of them (the bodycount must be over 50, maybe closer to 100), but there's also plenty of humour, a simple-but-entertaining plot involving mad science, a little love interest, lots of interesting minor characters, and towards the end some explosions and gunfights are even thrown into the mix.
About the only thing I would add is that while watching American Ninja 2 I kept wondering if it would have been better with Steve James in the lead role. He's a better fighter and a better actor than Dudikoff. Not saying that Dudikoff is bad - he does a good enough job and has the all-American looks that sell a film like this - but James is the best thing about this movie. But regardless, American Ninja 2 rocks!

Air Force Two (2006)

Air Force Two (2006)
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith
Starring: David Keith, Mariel Hemingway, David Milbern, Jill Bennett
Format: DVD (Flashback)

I got this low budget DVD as part of a "5 Disc Action Collection" released by Flashback Entertainment. I popped it into the DVD player in search of something low key to watch on a Sunday night, without knowing anything about it.

The first thing I noticed was the name Brian Trenchard-Smith pop up on screen as director, which got my attention. The ozploitation legend directed some real classics in the 70s and 80s (TURKEY SHOOT, DEAD-END DRIVE IN, FROG DREAMING, BMX BANDITS etc), before getting the "honour" of doing two Leprechaun sequels in the 90s. He's carried on working consistently since then, although the names of some of his more recent movies (Atomic Dog? Pimpin' Pee Wee?) had me curious and a little worried.

The second thing I noticed was that the scenery looked very familiar, and so did a lot of the minor cast members and extras. A quick check of IMDB.com confirmed that this movie (known as IN HER LINE OF FIRE upon release) was shot here in my home nation, New Zealand.

David Keith (AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN, FIRESTARTER) is US Vice President Walker, whose plane (the titular Air Force Two) crashlands in the Pacific Ocean. Walker, secret service agent Lynn Delaney (Hemingway, STAR 80) and a reporter (Bennett) wash up on an island inhabited by military rebels, headed by the maniacal Armstrong (Milbern). Capturing the second most powerful man in the western world would be quite a coup for Armstrong and his men, but the VP is an ex-soldier and his secret service gal-pal is quite the Rambo-ette, so it's not going to be easy.

The acting is good across the board, with veterans Keith and Hemingway dependable as ever. Milbern also stands out as the bad guy - his look and acting style kept reminding me of Bruce Willis (not a bad thing). The action is okay, but sadly you wouldn't know this is a Trenchard-Smith movie if you didn't see the credits. Fans of his ozploitation stuff will be disappointed if they're expecting anything like that.

Other reviews of this movie mention a lesbian love subplot between the characters played by Hemingway and Bennett (the latter, according to IMBD is openly lesbian), but there was nothing of that in the cut I watched. I guess that plot point was taken out for some releases? It's a shame, because it might have lifted Air Force Two above the level of run-of-the-mill action flick.

I probably enjoyed Air Force Two a little big more than most non-New Zealanders will. I had fun playing spot-the-Kiwi-actor, and also got a few laughs out of the island terrorists speaking in their native tongue (in reality the actors were just stringing together a bunch of non-sequitor words in our native tongue, Maori). But for the non-NZ viewer this is an adequate if unspectacular time waster. It's worth a watch on a lazy afternoon.

VHS update May 25

The Black Gestapo (1975)

A scan of my VHS copy of Black Gestapo 

 

The Black Gestapo (1975)
Director: Lee Frost
Starring: Rod Perry, Charles Robinson, Phil Hoover
Format: VHS (Prestige Video)

Lee Frost directed everything from 1960s Mondo shockumentaries and softcore roughies to biker flicks and the campy scifi comedy THE THING WITH TWO HEADS. In 1966 he helmed Love Camp 7, which is widely considered a pioneer in the nazi exploitation genre. Nine years later he revisited the nazi theme with a twist, nazi blaxploitation!

At least that's what this movie's title and cover art would have you believe. In truth there's no real nazi content beyond the uniforms worn by The People's Army, a black revolutionary group who dress like a cross between Hitler Youth and the Black Panthers.

And to call it blaxploitation isn't totally accurate either. Sure, the antagonists are African American but The Black Gestapo doesn't really play up black culture in the way true blaxploitation movies do. It's more of a straight up exploitation movie that just happens to have a majority of black characters. And what exploitation there is! Nudity, racism, violence against women, rape, castration... The Black Gestapo doesn't pull any punches.

The plot follows The People's Army as they fight back against a group of white gangsters who're shaking down the black neighbourhood in Watts, Los Angeles. Led by General Ahmed (Rod Perry, THE BLACK GODFATHER, SWAT TV series) and Colonel Kojah (Charles Robinson, best known as Mac in 80s TV show Night Court), the revolutionaries use their training in guerilla tactics to wage a full-out war with the honkey hoods.

Once the white guys are out of the picture, Kojah is quickly corrupted by his new found power. Breaking away from Ahmed, he and his men soon enough take the place of their former white oppressors, shaking down bookies, selling drugs and killing anyone who gets in their way. It's up to the principled Ahmed to try to put a stop to his former righthand man's delusions of grandeur.

Frost regular Phil Hoover (THE THING WITH TWO HEADS) plays bigoted white goon Vito, who gets his comeuppance in a painful way, while Frost himself plays campy toupee-wearing criminal overlord Vincent.

You could say there's a serious message in all of this - that the oppressed can quickly become the oppressors if they give in to the temptations of power. But really, who cares about morales and messages when there's so much sleazy exploitation to enjoy? Especially when it comes wrapped in a parcel of funky 70s music and fashions (I wonder why plaid trousers have ever made a comeback? Or maybe they have and I didn't notice?).

The action is sometimes brutal, sometimes goofy, but always good sleazy fun. The best stuff is during the black-white war at the start and Ahmed's assault on Kojah's compound at the end. The gratuitous shots of naked breasts at regular intervals certainly don't hurt either.

Fans of low budget exploitation will have a ball watching The Black Gestapo. I mean, how often do you get to see black guys dressed like Nazi soldiers raising their fists while audio of mass "Sieg heil" chants plays? Not often, I can tell you that.

The Chain (1996)

A scan of my VHS copy of The Chain

The Chain (1996)
Director: Luca Bercovici
Starring: Gary Busey, Victor Rivers, Jamie Rose, Rez Cortez
Format: VHS (Palace Home Video)

Two prisoners hate each other but must work together when they escape captivity, because they are joined at the wrist by a heavy metal chain. As a plot hook it's been done many times, most famously in Stanley Kramer's 1958 classic The Defiant Ones. In 1996 two movies were released with this premise. Fled, starring Laurence Fishburne and Stephen Baldwin, had a theatrical release and made quite a bit of money. The Chain, on the other hand, was shot in The Philippines on a small budget and probably went straight to video, forever consigned to obscurity.

Frank Morrissey (Busey) is an American cop obsessed with catching international gunrunner Carlos (Rivers, BLOOD IN BLOOD OUT). He travels to South America in pursuit of his taunting nemesis, but both end up being captured by soldiers  and thrown into a jungle prison. When they repeatedly try to kill each other, the two rivals are chained together (hence the name). An attack by rebel forces allows them to escape into the jungle, but the soldiers are hot on their trail and they're still chained together, forcing them to put their hatred aside and work together to survive.

If you're like me, you'll watch anything Gary Busey is in. Whether he's appearing in genuinely good movies (Point Break) or action movie escapism (Under Siege, Eye of the Tiger, Surviving the Game), Busey is always entertaining to watch. Is his unorthodox acting style the result of drug addictions or a head injury he supposedly suffered in 1988? Either way there's only one Gary Busey.

Here he's in good form. Not great, but good. There's also a couple of big battle scenes you'd expect from a Philippines production (it's funny that despite this movie being set in South America, the soldiers and rebels in said battle scenes are quite obviously Asian). On the down side, director Bercovici (who interestingly along with co-writer Jefery Levy shares the original Ghoulies movie in his film credits) is clueless about pacing an action movie and some of his camera work is distracting rather than innovative.

Also of note is a brief scene involving Philippino action flick regular Ken Metcalfe (WARRIORS OF THE APOCALYPSE, THE MUTHERS etc) in his second to last movie.

The Chain is by no means a good movie. It's not the worst thing out there, but I think most action fans will find it boring for the most part. If you want another chance to see the Buse-meister in action during his heyday (before he became a complete caricature of himself) check it out, but otherwise there are much better films worthy of your time. Especially disappointing because of its filming locale.

VHS collection update - May 18 2012

The first update of my VHS collection in six months shows all the tapes I've picked up over that time. Horror, comedy, TV, and lots and lots of cheesy action flicks!

In two parts...



 

Ghettoblaster (1989)

 A scan of my VHS copy of Ghettoblaster

 

Ghettoblaster (1989)
Director: David DeCoteau
Starring: Richard Hatch, Del Zamora, Diane Moser
Format: VHS (Applause Home Video)

Travis (Hatch) is a single dad who returns home to find his old neighbourhood is now a ghetto overrun with gang violence. When Travis' father is killed by The Hammers, a ruthless Latino gang run by Jesus (Zamora), he takes over the family store and tries to resist their standover tactics. But of course that's never going to work, and after more witnessing and becoming victim to more violence he finally takes a stand, becoming a one-man vigilante force.

So it's all pretty predictable, but one nice plot point is that Travis is ex-army, specialising in urban warfare tactics. This allows for some interesting guerilla-style attacks (an exploding ghettoblaster is especially fun) and some lame TV-style antics (dressing up as a clown to infiltrate a drug deal at a park).

The bad guys aren't going to stand for that, so they kidnap Travis' daughter, setting up a final confrontation with The Hammers. Of course there's also a love interest, predictably the sister of one of the gangbangers, Gina (Diane Moser). It's just a shame there's so little chemistry between Hatch and Moser.

Ghettoblaster would be a yawnfest if wasn't just so 80s. The Beat Street-esque rap music, the fashions, the lack of true grittiness... all of it makes Ghettoblaster feel like an extended episode of a Stephen J. Cannell show, but with nudity, swearing and violence thrown into the mix. The violence is for the most part quite tame, but there is a rather nasty drive-by shooting of a young kid in the opening scene.

Richard Hatch isn't overly impressive as an action star, but he's likeable enough. I grew up watching him on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and have always liked him as an actor, so getting to watch him in his own action movie was a treat. The rest of the cast does an adequate enough job.

Ghettoblaster is definitely worth a watch, particularly if you're of my generation and grew up watching Richard Hatch and 70s/80s TV shows.

Seeing Red double feature

Red Dawn (1984)

Director: John Milius
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson
Format: VHS (MGM/UA)

For his follow up to the 1983 Arnie vehicle CONAN THE BARBARIAN, director John Milius transported from mystical Cimmeria to contemporary USA and swapped swords and loin cloths for machine guns and army uniforms. The result was RED DAWN, an excellent "what if" actioner that stars a handful of not-yet-famous young actors.

RED DAWN is one of those movies - like THE OUTSIDERS, RUMBLEFISH and TAPS - where part of the fun is watching these young actors before they were famous. In fact, Patrick Swayze, C Thomas Howell and Darren Dalton (as well as William Smith, but he could hardly be considered a "young talent" at this stage of his career) had all appeared in THE OUTSIDERS the year before RED DAWN.

The opening scene sets up what is to come and is powerful stuff - paratroopers begin falling from the sky onto the football field of a small town US high school. When they start attacking, it's clear that someone is invading America, soon revealed to be Russia and its communist allies Cuba and Nicaragua.

A group of the students (including Sheen, Howell and Dalton), escape with an older brother (Swayze) into the mountains, taking supplies and weapons with them. They are soon joined by two teenaged girls (Thompson and Jennifer Grey). At first they are content to hide out, but when they witness the brutality of the invaders firsthand the teens begin fighting back, adopting their high school mascot and carrying out raids and attacks as the resistance group The Wolverines.

With a plot summary like that, it would be very easy for RED DAWN to get carried away with a "Rah, rah, USA, USA!" mentality, but it manages to restrain that side of things while still portraying the invaders as evil bastards who are keen on lining up townsfolk and murdering them by firing squad. This movie also resists the urge to trivialise war and make it all fun and games - characters die regularly and a downbeat (but necessary) conclusion offers some hope but doesn't fit into the "happy ending" mold.

There's lots of good action - explosions galore, tank battles, rocket launchers etc - but Milius also uses his talented young actors to bring a real heartfelt quality to proceedings. Swayze, Sheen, Howell and Thompson in particular shine. It's also fun to see some fleeting chemistry between Swayze and Jennifer Grey three years before their starring roles in Dirty Dancing.

While the kids take center-stage, the adult supporting cast has plenty of familiar faces - Harry Dean Stanton (ALIEN), William Smith (CONAN THE BARBARIAN), Powers Boothe (TOMBSTONE) and BEN JOHNSON (WILD BUNCH) among them.

I see on IMDB that a remake is planned for release this year, with North Koreans replacing Russians/Cubans as the invaders. While this original is far from perfect - its pacing lags in places - I doubt the remake will be able to top it.

A scan of my VHS copy of Red Scorpion

Red Scorpion (1988)
Director: Joseph Zito
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, M Emmet Walsh, Al White
Format: VHS (CEL/Vestron)

In the 80s Dolph Lundgren cornered the market on playing Russian badasses, despite actually being Swedish. After a non-speaking on-screen debut as a KGB agent in the 1985 Bond flick View to a Kill, Dolph shot to stardom as Rocky Balboa's Soviet nemesis Drago in the same year's Rocky IV (who can forget that training montage - Hearts on Fiiiiiiire!).

In 1987 Dolph top-billed for the first time as He-Man in the live-action MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, but I would argue he wasn't actually the lead actor, as a lot of that film's plot was taken up with the human protagonists (one played by Courteney Cox). It wasn't until the next year that Lundgren got his first chance to really taken center-stage in RED SCORPION.

Dolph is Lieutenant Nikolai Rachenko, a crack Soviet soldier based in Africa. His latest mission is to assassinate a pesky African rebel leader. He gets close to his target but fails to kill him. Then his own superiors want him dead, so Nikolai switches sides and helps the rebels fight back against the Communist oppressors. Along the way he befriends an African bushman who teaches him the ways of his people and dubs him Red Scorpion.

If you're familiar with Dolph Lundgren you'll know what to expect here. Dolph has never been mistaken for a talented actor - he simply had "the look" and while not as good as Van Damme, Seagal or Norris when it came to hand-to-hand combat, could handle himself in a fight. In RED SCORPION he spends most of his time shirtless, showing off his impressive physique. But at the same time Dolph does get the chance to act a bit - the interaction between Nikolai and his bushman mentor (who don't speak the same language) allows him to break his icy demeanor and have some fun for once.

The final showdown brings the action in spades, with enough gunfire, explosions, attack helicopters, rocket launchers etc to keep the discerning fan happy. Director Joseph Zito got his start in slasher films (THE PROWLER, FRIDAY THE 13TH THE FINAL CHAPTER) but prior to RED SCORPION had cut his action teeth with a pair of Chuck Norris vehicles (INVASION USA, MISSING IN ACTION) so knew his way around this kind of material.

The supporting cast reunites BLADE RUNNER alumni M Emmet Walsh and Brion James, but let's face it, this is Dolph's show. While not the best movie he's been in (ROCKY IV, UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, THE EXPENDABLES are all better), RED SCORPION is perhaps big Dolph's finest hour as a headline act.

Fire with Fire (1988)

A scan of my VHS copy of Fire with Fire   

Fire with Fire (1988)

Director: Cedric Sundstrom

Starring: Lisa Rinna, Oliver Reed, Robert Vaughan

Format: VHS (Palace)

Released in the US as both Captive Rage and Fair Trade, this "chicks fight back" jungle actioner was released here in New Zealand (and Australia) as Fire with Fire. Not to be confused with the 1986 Fire with Fire, a Craig Sheffer-Virginia Madsen love story, of course.

Eduard Delacorte (Vaughan) is a DEA agent who locks up the son of a South American drug lord/dictator, General Belmondo (Reed). In retaliation, Belmondo hijacks a plane containing Delcorte's daughter, Lucy (Rinna), and her perky college girl friends and takes the girls captive in his jungle camp. He wants to exchange them for his son, but the feisty babes bust out of captivity and go all Rambo-ette.

Thrown into the mix are a tribe of native Indians, and a pair of American surveyors who team up with the girls, the latter offering some mild comedic relief (one of these bumbling dudes is B-movie journeyman Greg Latter - MUTATOR, LUNARCOP, KICKBOXER 5 etc).

Rinna, who would go on to become a soap star in Melrose Place and Days of Our Lives, is all cute and perky here in her on-screen debut. Her friends are played by a bunch of no-names (including former Miss South Africa Diana Tilden Davis - this film was financed by her home country), who also look good in their camo cut-offs. None of them are particularly believable as gun-toting badasses though, and it's never explained how they know how to use guns so well.

Reed and Vaughan were fading stars by this point. Vaughan's on-screen time is minimal, while Reed is obviously phoning in his performance, but even then he's the most entertaining thing about Fire with Fire, particularly his terrible South American accent. Another highlight is Belmondo's blonde prison captain whose giant hair and shoulderpads would have made Bonnie Tyler envious.

South African director Sundstrom went on to helm two American Ninja sequels (3 and 4 to be exact).

There's just enough gun fights, explosions and nudity to keep things from getting too tedious, but for a jungle action flick things are kept pretty tame. An adequate time-waster, but don't expect anything great.

November 7 - Silver Dragon Ninja (1986)

The cover of my VHS copy of Silver Dragon Ninja

Silver Dragon Ninja (1986)
Director: Don Kong
Starring: Harry Caine, Sam Yosida, Jim Gross
Format: VHS (IPD)

After watching 31 horror movies in the month of October, I've had a real hankering for some cheesy action. Don't get me wrong, I love horror movies, but I'm all horrored out for a while and need a change of pace. What better way to do that than with a Hong Kong ninja flick?

Like a lot of these cheap ninja efforts, this one is actually two movies spliced into one. The ninja portion has Silver Dragon Ninja (an uncredited Paulo Tocha, BLOODSPORT, PREDATOR 2) trying to rid Hong Kong of the evil Black Ninjas. The other, longer portion is a crime yarn about two cops trying to bring down a gang of baddies, which is clearly influenced by Scarface and other gangster films. There's also a female cop who goes undercover inside the gang.

I could go into more detail about the plot but a) So much of it is nonsensical that it'd be futile to try to summarise it, and b) who the hell watches these movies for the plot anyway? It's all about the action baby, and Silver Dragon Ninja delivers with an abundance of ninja fights and gun battles.

The martial arts fights are badly-choreographed but fast-paced and never boring. They feature an array of cheesy effects - ninjas disappear or reappear in a puff of smoke and all kicks, punches and weapon attacks are accompanied by cartoonish sound effects.

Most of the police action is fairly conventional (lots of shootouts between baddies and cops, and baddies and baddies), but there is one scene where a kid is blown up by a bomb strapped to a remote control car(!), another involving a dirtbike and molotov cocktails, and one baddie dies after being stabbed between the legs with a large piece of glass. Ouch!

The dialogue and voice dubbing are hilariously bad. Some of the voices are so hokey they sound like they were provided by Monty Python Silly Voices Preservation Society. One Hong Kong cop even speaks with an Australian accent, which is funny but a bit distracting. The prize for worst acting goes to Silver Dragon Ninja's apprentice, who appears in only two short scenes. His delivery is monotone to the extreme - we're talking porn-level bad.

As an aside, I recognised one piece of the music as an instrumental portion of Tonight by Genesis (used with permission? Yeah right!).

Final verdict? Silver Dragon Ninja is lots of fun and a must watch for any fan of low budget, spliced-together flicks like Ninja USA, Born a Ninja and any of Godfrey Ho's countless ninja films (I have my suspicions director Don Kong is Ho under a pseudonym).

VHS collection - Action, martial arts, b movies

August 13 - Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite (1996)

The cover of my VHS copy of Bloodsport 2

Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite (1996)
Director: Alan Mehrez
Format: VHS (Palace)

Can't afford to get Jean Claude Van Damme to come back for a sequel? No problem, just find another martial artist with a wacky European accent who kind of looks like the Muscles from Brussels.

That's just what the producers of this movie did. Bloodsport was a cult favourite (and a personal favourite of mine in my teenage years), but by the time this sequel was released 8 years later, Van Damme was commanding big money and probably unattainable. They found a handy replacement in Daniel Bernhardt, a Swiss martial artist with minimal acting experience (this was his first feature film).

The only connection to the first film is the kumite tournament, and the returning Ray Jackson (Donald Gibb), who is no longer a fighter but is involved as a handler.

Petty thief Alex Cardo (Bernhardt) steals a valuable katana sword and ends up in a Thai prison, where he meets Master Sun (James Hong, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA). Sun teaches a brand of martial arts called Iron Hand to Alex, who gets on the bad side of a ruthless prison guard called Demon (Ong Soo Han).

Released from prison, Alex enters the Kumite tournament with the help of Ray Jackson. Just like in the first movie, the tournament has a mix of fighting styles. To nobody's surprise, it comes down to Alex and Demon for the tournament title.

The acting is good across the board. Hong is always excellent, Gibb is the comic relief and there's a few brief-but-nice scenes involving good ol' Mr Miyagi, Pat Morita. Bernhardt's acting is also better than could be expected, considering this was his debut.

It's also the debut for director Alan Mehrez and writer Jeff Schechter. The plot is nothing special, but these movies are all about the action, and the fighting starts early (the first fight is on screen inside the first five minutes) and doesn't let up until the final credits. If you've seen the first movie you'll know what to expect, but in fact the fighting might actually be better in this sequel. Demon is no Chong Li in terms of size or meanness, but he's a better fighter.

In between the awesome fights there is some cheesiness to enjoy. Some of the training footage is pretty corny, especially the bits involving punching and kicking out candle flames. The romance scenes involving Bernhardt and Lori Lynn Dickerson have about as much chemistry as two rocks, mainly due to Dickerson's appalling acting. It's also quite humorous to hear Mr Miyagi talking with a British accent. And there's a funny scene where a guy walks in with a long, sword-shaped carry-bag, yet Alex asks "where's the sword?". Oh, and check out the Mortal Kombat-ripoff song that plays during the closing credits.

If you enjoyed the first Bloodsport you need to check out this sequel. The other two sequels featuring Bernhardt? I haven't seen them, but I do have the 4th movie on VHS, so will be reviewing that one sometime soon.

Previews on my VHS: The Scarlet Letter, Captives, Johnny Mnemonic, The Basketball Diaries, Mortal Kombat, National Lampoon's Senior Trip,

August 13 - VHS and DVD collection update