SUMMER OF 87 #8: Dirty Dozen The Deadly Mission

The cover of my VHS copy of Dirty Dozen: Deadly Mission

 

11.30am, Day 2:

Dirty Dozen: The Deadly Mission
Director: Lee H Katzin
Starring: Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Vince Edwards, Bo Svenson, Vincent Van Patten
Format: VHS (CEL)

Plot: Learning of a Nazi plot to attack Washington DC with a deadly nerve gas, Major Wright (Telly Savalas) leads twelve convicts on a suicide mission deep into occupied France to destroy the secret factory where the poison is made.

- Disclosure: I last watched the original Dirty Dozen movie quite a few years ago. I haven't seen any of the TV movie sequels, of which this is the second (following 1985's The Next Mission and before 1988's The Fatal Mission).
- The set up is the same as the first two movies, but with Savalas taking over the Lee Marvin role as the leader assigned to whip 12 condemned prisoners into shape for the big mission. Savalas was one of the original Dirty Dozen but his character was killed off in the first movie, so his Major Wright here is a new character.
- Among the new Dirty Dozen are: Gary Graham (ALIEN NATION TV series) as rebellious Joe Stern; real life brothers Vincent (HELL NIGHT) and James (SAW 4 and 5) Van Patten as the German-looking Webber brothers; Bo Svenson (WALKING TALL) as cunning Fontenac; Randall Cobb (BLIND FURY) as the giant Swede; Thom Mathews (Tommy Jarvis in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6) as clean cut Kelly; Paul Picerni (1960s TV series THE UNTOUCHABLES) as counterfeiter Ferruci; and Branco Blace as explosives expert Martinez.
- Director Katzin has some 69 credits to his name, all but a few of them in TV series and TV movies, everything from the Mission Impossible series in the 60s to Miami Vice and Walker Texas Ranger. So he knows how to put together action sequences in a TV format. Writer Mark Rodgers had a similarly-long career in TV.
- This movie opened with a good shootout and there was another soon after the Dozen drop into enemy territory, but things slow down in the middle as the soldiers infiltrate the local population and do lots of sneaking around.

Overall thoughts: This Dirty Dozen sequel is at its best when Nazis are being machine-gunned down and things are blowing up. There's plenty of that at the start and the finish, but it gets dragged down by a slow middle portion. Because it's a TV movie, there's no grittiness, but a solid cast and just enough action makes it watchable.

Seeing Red double feature

Red Dawn (1984)

Director: John Milius
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson
Format: VHS (MGM/UA)

For his follow up to the 1983 Arnie vehicle CONAN THE BARBARIAN, director John Milius transported from mystical Cimmeria to contemporary USA and swapped swords and loin cloths for machine guns and army uniforms. The result was RED DAWN, an excellent "what if" actioner that stars a handful of not-yet-famous young actors.

RED DAWN is one of those movies - like THE OUTSIDERS, RUMBLEFISH and TAPS - where part of the fun is watching these young actors before they were famous. In fact, Patrick Swayze, C Thomas Howell and Darren Dalton (as well as William Smith, but he could hardly be considered a "young talent" at this stage of his career) had all appeared in THE OUTSIDERS the year before RED DAWN.

The opening scene sets up what is to come and is powerful stuff - paratroopers begin falling from the sky onto the football field of a small town US high school. When they start attacking, it's clear that someone is invading America, soon revealed to be Russia and its communist allies Cuba and Nicaragua.

A group of the students (including Sheen, Howell and Dalton), escape with an older brother (Swayze) into the mountains, taking supplies and weapons with them. They are soon joined by two teenaged girls (Thompson and Jennifer Grey). At first they are content to hide out, but when they witness the brutality of the invaders firsthand the teens begin fighting back, adopting their high school mascot and carrying out raids and attacks as the resistance group The Wolverines.

With a plot summary like that, it would be very easy for RED DAWN to get carried away with a "Rah, rah, USA, USA!" mentality, but it manages to restrain that side of things while still portraying the invaders as evil bastards who are keen on lining up townsfolk and murdering them by firing squad. This movie also resists the urge to trivialise war and make it all fun and games - characters die regularly and a downbeat (but necessary) conclusion offers some hope but doesn't fit into the "happy ending" mold.

There's lots of good action - explosions galore, tank battles, rocket launchers etc - but Milius also uses his talented young actors to bring a real heartfelt quality to proceedings. Swayze, Sheen, Howell and Thompson in particular shine. It's also fun to see some fleeting chemistry between Swayze and Jennifer Grey three years before their starring roles in Dirty Dancing.

While the kids take center-stage, the adult supporting cast has plenty of familiar faces - Harry Dean Stanton (ALIEN), William Smith (CONAN THE BARBARIAN), Powers Boothe (TOMBSTONE) and BEN JOHNSON (WILD BUNCH) among them.

I see on IMDB that a remake is planned for release this year, with North Koreans replacing Russians/Cubans as the invaders. While this original is far from perfect - its pacing lags in places - I doubt the remake will be able to top it.

A scan of my VHS copy of Red Scorpion

Red Scorpion (1988)
Director: Joseph Zito
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, M Emmet Walsh, Al White
Format: VHS (CEL/Vestron)

In the 80s Dolph Lundgren cornered the market on playing Russian badasses, despite actually being Swedish. After a non-speaking on-screen debut as a KGB agent in the 1985 Bond flick View to a Kill, Dolph shot to stardom as Rocky Balboa's Soviet nemesis Drago in the same year's Rocky IV (who can forget that training montage - Hearts on Fiiiiiiire!).

In 1987 Dolph top-billed for the first time as He-Man in the live-action MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, but I would argue he wasn't actually the lead actor, as a lot of that film's plot was taken up with the human protagonists (one played by Courteney Cox). It wasn't until the next year that Lundgren got his first chance to really taken center-stage in RED SCORPION.

Dolph is Lieutenant Nikolai Rachenko, a crack Soviet soldier based in Africa. His latest mission is to assassinate a pesky African rebel leader. He gets close to his target but fails to kill him. Then his own superiors want him dead, so Nikolai switches sides and helps the rebels fight back against the Communist oppressors. Along the way he befriends an African bushman who teaches him the ways of his people and dubs him Red Scorpion.

If you're familiar with Dolph Lundgren you'll know what to expect here. Dolph has never been mistaken for a talented actor - he simply had "the look" and while not as good as Van Damme, Seagal or Norris when it came to hand-to-hand combat, could handle himself in a fight. In RED SCORPION he spends most of his time shirtless, showing off his impressive physique. But at the same time Dolph does get the chance to act a bit - the interaction between Nikolai and his bushman mentor (who don't speak the same language) allows him to break his icy demeanor and have some fun for once.

The final showdown brings the action in spades, with enough gunfire, explosions, attack helicopters, rocket launchers etc to keep the discerning fan happy. Director Joseph Zito got his start in slasher films (THE PROWLER, FRIDAY THE 13TH THE FINAL CHAPTER) but prior to RED SCORPION had cut his action teeth with a pair of Chuck Norris vehicles (INVASION USA, MISSING IN ACTION) so knew his way around this kind of material.

The supporting cast reunites BLADE RUNNER alumni M Emmet Walsh and Brion James, but let's face it, this is Dolph's show. While not the best movie he's been in (ROCKY IV, UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, THE EXPENDABLES are all better), RED SCORPION is perhaps big Dolph's finest hour as a headline act.

May 29 - Two very different army flicks

Today I watched two movies that share one thing - they're both about soldiers during a war. But that's where the comparisons end. One is an Italian flick directed by a cannibal movie legend and the other a made-for-TV monster movie.

The awesome cover of my VHS copy of Bridge to Hell

Bridge to Hell (1986)
Director: Umberto Lenzi
Format: VHS (Cannon)

Bridge to Hell, AKA Un ponte per l'inferno, is an Italian-made World War II movie directed by Umberto Lenzi, who of course is best known outside of Italy for his fleshmuncher gorefests like Cannibal Ferox, Eaten Alive and Man from Deep River.

The plot follows three soldiers who have escaped a Nazi prison camp in Yugoslavia. They are an American air force pilot (Andy J. Forest, MARK OF THE SCORPION), an Italian (Carlo Mucari, NIGHT OF THE SHARKS) and an Austrian deserter (Paki Valente). They join up with a group of freedom fighters and agree to fly their planes in bombing raids against the Germans.

One of the partisans, a former nun (Francesca Ferre), tells our trio about treasure held at her order's convent and, after running a second bombing raid, they decide to go after the booty (the gold that is, not the nun), with her in tow.

After some battles with Nazis along the way, the foursome arrives at the convent. Tricking the nuns, they make off with the treasure (the nun still in tow but unaware they've taken the loot) but must cross a heavily-guarded bridge (the titular Bridge to Hell) in order to make a complete getaway.

In the climactic battle there's the usual machine gun fire, grenade tossing and explosions and even some abseiling down the side of the huge bridge (which ends with some fantastically cheesy dummy work).

The acting is above average for this kind of movie, while the voice dubbing is about on par with what you'd expect from a low budget Italian movie. There's some great awkward overdubbed dialogue (After being rescued from a firing squad: "Vanya, are you still alive?", "Yes, but I'm surprised").

There's a good amount of action, but the low budget shows. According to IMDB.com, some footage is recycled from a couple of 1970s Yugoslav war movies, including some involving Nazi officers with attack dogs and, I'm guessing, the majority of the aerial combat scenes. Some of the miniature work is extremely cheesy.

A highlight is the excellent electronic music score is by Fabio Frizzi, who did the soundtracks for a bunch of Lucio Fulci movies (THE BEYOND, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, ZOMBI 2 etc).

Most of the supporting cast seem to be Yugoslavian, so I'm guessing that Lenzi filmed it on location in that country, adding an authenticity to proceedings.

My VHS runs at 88 minutes and doesn't seem to be cut. It's rated PG-13, so there's no nudity (in a scene where the nun-turned-fighter bathes in a river, she does so in her bra. Boo-urns!), swearing or gore.

The action's not as balls-to-the-wall as I would like, but overall Bridge to Hell is a good little Italian war flick. I'm not very well versed in this genre, so can't really compare it to others of its ilk, but I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Previews on my VHS: Nightmare Weekend, Thunder 2, The Adventure of the Action Hunters




Sand Serpents (2009)
Director: Jeff Renfroe
Format: DVD

This one should be called Tremors in Afghanistan. Not that Sand Serpents is as much fun as that 1990 movie, but its "monsters" are somewhat similar. They're a lot bigger (up to 60 feet high), but otherwise the titular sand serpents are very familiar. They're blind mutant sandworms that can travel underground at high speed (causing a ripple on the surface) and pick up potential victims by feeling the vibrations of their movement.

Sand Serpents is the 16th movie produced by RHI Entertainment for its Maneater series, which originally showed on Scifi channel (now Syfy) in the US. Scifi/Syfy original movies are much maligned but I love them. They're nothing if not consistent - you always know you're going to get some kind of nature run amok plotline, cheesy CGI and usually some washed-up actor from the 1980s.

In Sand Serpents said washed-up thespian is Jason Gedrick, star of 1984 cheesy, fun Top Gun knockoff Iron Eagle. Gedrick plays Lieutenant Richard Stanley of the US Army, who is charge of group of soldiers in Afghanistan. They're sent to investigate a disused gem mine and run into Taliban extremists, a resulting explosion awakening a group of ancient killer sandworms.

With a refugee father-and-daughter duo thrown into the mix, the soldiers must escape from the sand serpents, while also surviving firefights with the Taliban.

Unlike some of the other Maneater series flicks I've seen, the CGI is very good in this one. The acting is also pretty good. Gedrick is a competent lead man and the supporting cast is adequate if unspectacular (we get the smart ass guy, the street smart chick, the gruff sergeant and of course the former love of our main guy - the latter is a pre-requisite for these flicks).

Sand Serpents' biggest asset is its setting. Romania stands in for Afghanistan with a great barren landscape and bombed out buildings.

If you've seen any of these Scifi/Syfy movies before you'll know what to expect. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I like them and Sand Serpents is probably the best of the half dozen I've seen so far.

May 24 - Sinai Commandos and a Franco Nero double feature

Today's viewing consisted of a nice little triple feature of b-movies set in exotic places - the Middle East, Colombia and Mexico - two of them featuring Italian action star Franco Nero.



Sinai Commandos (1968)
Director: Raphael Nussbaum
Format: DVD (First Look's Grindhouse Experience Vol 2)

The concept of a rag-tag bunch of soldiers fighting their way through enemy territory to destroy a radar station/ammunition dump/gun position/whatever has been done countless times in war and action movies. But while the setting for these tales is usually World War II (Pacific, Europe or North Africa), Vietnam or Korea, Sinai Commandos offers a new setting - the Six Day War in the Middle East.

I'll admit to knowing very little about that conflict before watching this movie (and subsequently doing some internet research). As the name would suggest, it was fought for six days (June 5-10 1967), between Israel and the combined forces of its Arab neighbours.

Depending on your political leaning, the war was either an act of aggression by Israel or a pre-emptive strike of a defensive nature. Either way, when all was said and done, Israel had taken control of the West Bank and East Jerusalem from Jordan, Golan Heights from Syria and the Gaza Strip and Sinai Peninsula from Egypt.

But enough about the history - you want to know about Sinai Commandos, am I right? Well, needless to say this Israeli-American-German production is firmly on the side of Israel being the heroic underdogs fighting back against the evil Arabs.

Directed by German Raphael Nussbaum (whose credits also include 1976's intriguingly-named THE AMOROUS ADVENTURES OF DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO PANZA), it stars Robert Fuller (a veteran of westerns, including long stints on TV shows LARAMIE and WAGON TRAIN) as the leader of a group of Israeli soldiers sent into the Egypt-held Sinai region to blow up a radar station that will allow Israel to turn the tide in the war.

Joining their mission is a pretty woman (Esther Ulmann - her only acting credit) who sneaks them into enemy territory on her father's speedboat and tags along after the boat is sunk. The rest of the commando characters aren't fleshed out too much, with the exception of womanising Private Bulgaro (Reuven Bar-Yotam, making his on screen debut before going on to a career in US television).

While things start off quite slowly, once the action starts Nussbaum does a good enough job of keeping things interesting. As you would probably expect from a movie of this nature, the plot boils down to a string of firefights, as the commandos move on from one incident to the next amidst the barren rock landscape of the Sinai.

Baring in mind this movie was made in 1968 (they didn't mess around in getting it done after the war), it's missing the trappings of later war-action movies. Forget outrageous explosions and cartoonish characters, but if you're after a straight forward war flick with lots of machine guns and grenades, Sinai Commandos is worth a watch.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, Israel withdrew from the Sinai Peninsula in 1982. History lesson over.



Alien Terminator (1988)
Director: Nello Rosatti
Format: AVI (VHSrip)

When I was preparing to sit down and watch this, I thought it was the 1995 film with the same name, an erotic scifi flick starring former Las Vegas showgirl Maria Ford. That's the problem when all you've got is a computer file with a name - there's no cover, so mix ups can happen.

So imagine my delight when I started watching and the opening credits appeared. Franco Nero! George Kennedy! Directed by Nello Rosatti!

Instead of a bad 90s skin flick, here we've got an Italian production, shot in Colombia, which was originally titled Top Line. Alien Terminator is the name it got upon video release in the UK.

The previous year Rosatti had
directed Django 2, the sequel
to the groundbreaking 1966 scifi western Django. The sequel once again starred the great Franco Nero as the title character and was filmed in Colombia. It doesn't take much deduction to figure out Rosatti probably filmed Alien Terminator while he was on location, especially since the two movies share another couple of actors in common - William Berger and Rodrigo Obregon.

Nero plays drunken author Ted Angelo, who lives in Colombia on the dollar of his rich publisher ex-wife (Mary Stavin, HOWLING V). When he comes across some priceless Aztec artefacts that get his museum curator friend (Berger) killed, he and his friend's assistant (the lovely Deborah Moore, WARRIORS OF THE APOCALYPSE) are thrown into a dangerous series of events that involve secret agents, an evil artefact collector (Kennedy, COOL HAND LUKE) and a UFO buried inside a mountain.

The first two thirds of the movie are entertaining enough, unfolding like a jungle adventure mystery, but with a name like Alien Terminator you could be forgiven for expecting more... well, alien terminators. For that you'll have to wait until the last third, which is thankfully when things really pick up. As well as the long-awaited arrival of a terminator-ripoff alien robot, there's also an exciting highspeed pursuit through windy mountain roads with Angelo on the back of a truck being driven by drunk chicken farmer, as well as shootouts, explosions and a twist ending that's nicely done.

Nero struggles through his lines in English, but does well as an ageing action star. His funniest line comes during a shootout with the alien terminator, when his lady friend asks "Who could have built a machine like that?" and he replies "Not even the Japanese".

It's a shame there couldn't have been more of the fun stuff in the last portion of this movie throughout its running time, as the build up takes a bit too long to get going. But if you go into Alien Terminator knowing what to expect - a jungle adventure with some elements of scifi - you shouldn't be disappointed.



The Shark Hunter (1979)
Director: Enzo G Castellari
Format: DVD (First Look's Grindhouse Experience Vol 2)

In the late 70s, Jaws rip-offs were a dime a dozen. Following Spielberg's 1975 blockbuster came Mako: Jaws of Death (1976), Orca: The Killer Whale (1977), Piranha (1978) and a whole host more.

The Shark Hunter (aka Il cacciatore di squali, aka El cazador de Tiburones) isn't a direct riff on the adventures of Bruce the shark, but it is clearly cashing in on the craze. Directed by Enzo G Castellari (1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS), it stars Franco Nero (DJANGO) as a Quint-esque grizzled shark hunter haunted by the past. In his case it's the deaths of his wife and child and a plane crash in the waters off Mexico.

Sporting ridiculous long blonde hair, Nero's character (Mike di Donato) lives at a Mexican beach resort (shades of the other Nero movie I've watched today, where he was an American living in Colombia). He is
happy hunting sharks, but has also devised a plan to
retrieve 100 million dollars from the sunken plane
from which he was the only survivor.

A local crimelord (Eduardo Fajardo, DJANGO) and his assorted hired muscle are also after the money, as is a former colleague of di Donato's from a shady American agency (Michael Forest, BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE). Jorge Luke (CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER) offers the comic relief as loud mouth local Acapulco, who becomes di Donato's sidekick.

The race is on for the money, with plenty of shoot outs, explosions, fist fights and high speed chases (including one between a seaplane and a speedboat) to keep things interesting. And the sharks? Well, they mostly just swim around looking menacing until the finale, when they finally get to chomp on some suckas.

The DVD I watched was a straight rip of a VHS (with hard Dutch subtitles), so the picture quality wasn't that great. A lot of the underwater shots were too dark to see what was going on, but luckily there's not too many of them.

The Shark Hunter is above-average 1970s action and a must for any fans of Franco Nero.