What I Watched - November 1-7 2015

WHAT I WATCHED - NOVEMBER 1-7 2015:

The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? (2015) Youtube

- This is one I've been meaning to check out for a while now after reading Kevin Smith's latest autobiography, Tough Shit, a few months back. I honestly didn't know anything about this other than reading a few brief mentions about a failed Superman movie over the years. After watching this doco, I think I'm probably in the same boat as everyone else - I really, really wish Tim Burton had been allowed to make his movie with Nicolas Cage as Supes! Would it have been great? Probably not (I'm not a fan of anything non-animated that Burton has done in the last 15 years), but it would have been unique, that's for damn sure! This documentary is definitely worth checking out, whether you're a fan of superheroes or not.

The Canal (2014) Netflix

- I'm writing this a couple of weeks after I watched this, and not much about it sticks in my mind, which probably says a lot. But I do remember liking it - the acting was good and the suspense was very well done. Not really horror, more psychological thriller, but one that'll keep you guessing and interested for the whole hour and a half.

The Keep (1983) VHS

- It's rare for me to watch VHS these days, having sold off most of my collection (which numbered in the many hundreds) over the past year or so. But this is one I found hidden away in a box in my garage and I had to give it a watch before putting it up for sale - especially since it has never been released on DVD. I love, love, love this movie! Sure, some of the effects are a bit cheesy, but the Tangerine Dream score is phenomenal and director Michael Mann brings a dream-like quality to proceedings. Damn I want to see this on a decent print - is a bluray really too much to ask?

Can't Hardly Wait (1998) Netflix

- A brief excursion into romantic comedy territory. But hey, this one is actually really good - it reminds me of the 1980s John Hughes teen comedies that I grew up on. 

V for Vendetta (2005) DVD

- Remember, remember the 5th of November. And what better movie to watch on Guy Fawkes Night? I do enjoy the look of this movie, it has some stellar cinematography, as you'd hope for when a comic book is adapted to the screen. The story has never been one that really resonates with me though, unfortunately. Call me a crotchety old man, but the "V" mask has lost its impact for me due to its use by the hacking group Anonymous in real life. Still, this is a good watch.

LONG PORK DOUBLE FEATURE:

Bone Tomahawk (2015) AVI

- Boy did I love this movie! Obviously I love horror movies, and I do really enjoy westerns - the two are sadly not joined together very often in cinema. But that's now changed, because Bone Tomahawk is fantastic. Sure, it's more western than horror, but there's some genuine creepiness to the cannibal natives in this here yarn. The cinematography of the dusty, old west setting is excellent, the story is well written and the effects are top notch. But what really makes this stand out is the acting. A big thank you to whoever decided to cast Kurt Russell in the sheriff role - after the perfection ghtat is Tombstone I could watch Kurt act in westerns for the rest of my days. And the supporting cast (including The Conjuring's Patrick Wilson and a brief appearance by genre favourite Sid Haig) is great. More horror westerns please!

The Green Inferno (2015) AVI

- Ah yes, Eli Roth. The guy gets a lot of hate, but I'm not on board with that. He at least makes interesting movies, if not always great. I like to think of him as horror's answer to Quentin Tarantino (with no doubt a fraction the talent), and he's in full-on Tarantino-mode in this one. Whereas Tarantino has paid homage to the likes of blaxploitation, martial arts and spaghetti westerns in recent years, Roth chooses to make a love letter to 1970s Italian cannibal flicks. Thankfully the one thing he left out is the awful animal cruelty of those original offerings, so The Green Inferno has that going for it. Unfortunately the gore is also lacking in comparison (but still quite abundant) and there's no nudity, but there is some nice visuals (the natives in full red bodypaint are visually striking) and the acting is pretty good. You won't care about the characters, but that's beside the point in these movies I guess. Roth gets an A for effort and at least, unlike the animal-cruelty-filled 70s flicks, I can see myself watching this one again some time soon.

31 Nights of Terror 2015 #37 - Juan of the Dead (2011)

Juan of the Dead (2011)
Director: Alejandro Brugués
Starring: Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina, Andros Perugorría
Format: DVD

Plot: A group of slackers face an army of zombies. The Cuban government and media claim the living dead are dissidents revolting against the government.

Another recent pick up at the Armageddon convention, this is one I've been wanting to see for a while now. I'm a huge fan of Shaun of the Dead, and the name of this movie is obviously meant as a reference to that. And it's Cuban - not sure I've ever seen too many Cuban movies.

Juan of the Dead isn't some kind of remake of Shaun of the Dead. It shares a common starting point in that a zombie apocalypse breaks out and our protagonists are probably the last people you'd want to have to rely on to save you during it. 

Like Shaun and Ed in the English film, Juan and Lazaro are just coasting through life, but a point of difference is that they are always out to make a buck, and try to cash in on the zombie outbreak by setting up a "zombie exterminator" type business. Also, whereas Shaun of the Dead has a romance at its heart, here the "loved ones" trying to re-establish their relationship are Juan and his estranged daughter.

I loved the many references to the Cuban lifestyle, especially how the government tries to pass off the zombies as "dissidents" who are working with the Americans.

In terms of comedy, Juan of the Dead is funny. I didn't find it as hilarious as Shaun, but it's still got some golden moments. I do wonder if maybe some of the comedic timing is lost because it's in Spanish and you're busy reading subtitles (the characters talk damn fast). But overall it's funny and has heart (Juan and Lazaro have great chemistry, which is key to making this movie work).

The special effects are pretty good. There's some good blood and gore and while some of the CGI is a bit dodgy overall it works well.

If you're a fan of horror comedy along the lines of Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland and Return of the Living Dead, you need to see this one.

31 Nights of Terror 2015 #11 - The Final Girls (2015)

The Final Girls (2015)
Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson
Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman, Adam DeVine
Format: AVI

Plot: When Max (Taissa Farmiga) and her friends reluctantly attend a tribute screening of an infamous '80s slasher film that starred Max's late mother (Malin Akerman), they are accidentally sucked into the silver screen. They soon realize they are trapped inside the cult classic movie and must team up with the fictional and ill-fated "Camp Bloodbath" counselors, including Max's mom as the shy scream queen, to battle the film's machete-wielding, masked killer. With the body count rising in scene after iconic scene, who will be THE FINAL GIRLS left standing and live to escape this film?

The Final Girls is the ultimate comedic love-letter to 80s slasher films. As someone who grew up on that genre, I really, really enjoyed this movie.

Everything 80s is riffed here, but in a way that has both laughs and heart, rather than a ridiculous Scary Movie parody manner. It's also obvious that the director is a fan of the source material - when our group of protagonists end up "inside" their favourite 80s slasher, it really does feel like they've been transported back to a Friday the 13th flick.

The acting here is great. I really enjoyed Taissa Farmiga's previous work on two seasons of TV show American Horror Story, and she's perfectly cast here as the quiet, sensitive teenage girl mourning the loss of her film star mum. Malin Akerman looks familiar but looking at her credits I don't think I've seen her in much. But she has great chemistry with Farmiga, which helps provide the emotional pull. Comedic value is added by Adam DeVine (TV's Workaholics) - whose performance does grate the nerves a bit at times but is perfect for the douchebag jock that was in every 80s summer camp horror flick - and Thomas Middleditch, who is excellent as the resident horror movie geek.

The only complaint I have is that this movie is virtually devoid of gore. There's a little bit of blood splattered around, but it's lacking compared to actual 80s slashers. If you're going to pay homage to those movies, you need some good blood and guts. There's also no nudity - a pre-requisite of 80s slashers - but that's neither here nor there.

I have a feeling that the younger crowd will probably enjoy this movie well enough, but to really appreciate it you need to have lived through the 80s and to have watched your fair share of Friday the 13th-type slashers from that decade.

Don't expect scares or any real suspense - go into this one for the laughs and the loving tribute it pays to slasher flicks.

Mad Mission 4: You Never Die Twice (1986)

 The cover of my VHS copy of Mad Mission 4

Mad Mission 4: You Never Die Twice (1986)
Director: Ringo Lam
Starring: Samuel Hui, Karl Maka, Sally Yeh
Format: VHS

Plot: Nancy Ho (Sylvia Chang) is kidnapped by villains who want to obtain a hi-tech prism, created by a Hong Kong professor, that can grant superhuman powers. In exchange for her return, Ho's husband Baldy (Maka), his buddy Sam (Hui) and the professor's daughter Sally (Yeh), joined by Baldy's son Baldy Jr, fly to New Zealand to deliver the hi-tech prism to the crooks. However, not allowing to let the crooks succeed, they must band together to prevent the prism from being used.

I haven't seen any of the prior three Mad Mission movies (which I understand were originally titled Aces Go Places). I picked up this VHS a couple of years ago and have been meaning to watch it, mainly because it's a Hong Kong action movie which is partly filmed in my home country, New Zealand.

This movie will mainly be of interest to fans of Jackie Chan-style martial arts action/comedy flicks, but has added appeal to New Zealanders like me. It's fun seeing some familiar sights (downtown Auckland, downtown Wellington, Auckland airport, Huntly Power Station etc) and how they were in 1986. Any Kiwi will easily pick up on the goofy geography used here - during a single, short car chase, our heroes leave Auckland Airport, drive over the Auckland Harbour Bridge and are suddenly in Wellington (which is at least an 8-hour drive from Auckland).

As I already mentioned, this looks and feels like one of Jackie Chan's Hong Kong movies, and leading man Hui even looks and fights like Chan (and has the same goofy facial expressions). His fighting isn't as intricate as Chan, but Hui still holds his own during the action scenes and is likeable enough.

Karl Maka is his bumbling sidekick Baldy (although the English language dubbing calls him Cody throughout), a role he plays completely for comedic value. Maka's goofy antics wear thin after a while - the best stuff happens towards the end when he's held captive and Hui and Yeh are allowed to operate without him.

The supporting cast also has some familiar faces, such as main baddie Ronald Lacey, the Nazi with the disfigured hand in Raiders of the Lost Ark. The script even plays homage to that particular role during the climax. Kiwis will also recognise prolific NZ actor Peter McCauley (LOST WORLD TV series) in the role as Lacey's head goon.

Movies like this fall or stand on their action set-pieces, and there are plenty of good ones (helicopter-speedboat chase, bazooka fired from helicopter, car jumping between high-rise buildings etc) showcased here. Director Ringo Lam would go on to helm a string of Chow Yun-Fat movies as well as a couple of late-90s JVCD flicks (Maximum Risk and The Replicant), and during this early effort he shows a good eye for fast-paced action. Sure, things get goofy Hong Kong-style, including a series of insane stunts involving a toddler falling off a skyscraper, but for the most part Lam keeps it from getting too groanworthy. The only major mis-step is a scene at an ice hockey game, which is played for pure comedy but isn't really funny.

In keeping with the Jackie Chan comparison, the end credits even feature bloopers and behind-the-scenes footage, something that Chan's movies are well-known for.

Mad Mission 4 is a lot of fun. Highly recommended for martial arts fans and those who enjoy their action mixed with wacky comedy.

SUMMER OF 87 #12 - Three for the Road

The cover of my VHS copy of Three for the Road

 

8.15pm, Day 2:
Three for the Road
Director: Bill L Norton
Starring: Charlie Sheen, Kerri Green, Alan Ruck, Blair Tefkin
Format: VHS (Roadshow)

Plot: A crafty political aide (Sheen) and his soft-spoken pal (Ruck) are assigned the job of delivering a senator's out-of-control teenage daughter (Green) to an institution.

- NOTE: I was originally going to end this marathon with NEAR DARK, easily my favourite vampire movie of all time. But I watch that one a lot, and my wife decided to join me for this finale, so I picked something we could enjoy together. So comedy it is.
- This movie is like a convergence of two of my favourite 80s movies, bringing together Charlie Sheen and Alan Ruck (both in FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF) and Kerri Green (who was in THE GOONIES). Sheen and Ruck also acted together on the TV series Spin City and Sheen and Green starred together in 1986's LUCAS (with Corey Haim).
- I've never seen this movie. In fact, before I found it on VHS I had never heard of it. I don't think it's ever been released on DVD.
- Hey, it's Uncle Phil (James Avery from Fresh Prince of Bel Air) as a Jesus-freak truck driver.
- Nice undies Charlie.
- Blair Tefkin. I remember her from the original scifi series V, a role she got when Dominique Dunne was murdered (look it up if you're unfamiliar with the case). Here Blair is definitely switching things up from her square girl role in V, as she plays a fast-talking southern party girl.

Overall thoughts: This seems to be a forgotten 80s comedy - you just don't hear anything about it. I'm not sure why that is, because it's actually pretty good. The closest comparison I can think of is another 80s roadtrip comedy, The Sure Thing, except here the girl's the loose cannon and the guy the square. At this point in his career Charlie Sheen was a likeable lead man, Alan Ruck puts in another solid performance as a neurotic sidekick, and I was happy to get to see Kerri Green on screen again, because she never made another mainstream movie after this. If you're a fan of these types of movies it's worth tracking down Three For The Road.

SUMMER OF 87 #10 - Munchies

 The cover of my VHS copy of Munchies

3.40pm, Day 2:

Munchies
Director: Bettina Hirsch
Starring: Harvey Korman, Charlie Stratton, Nadine Van der Velde
Format: VHS (CEL)

Plot: Simon Watterman (Korman), a space archaeologist, discovers the "Munchies" in a cave in Peru. Cecil Watterman (Korman again), Simon's evil twin brother and snack food entrepreneur, kidnaps the creature. What Cecil does not know is that the creature, when chopped up, regenerates into many new creatures -- and are they mean!

- Disclosure: No, I haven't seen this one.
- From the long line of Gremlins rip-offs (Critters, Ghoulies, Hobgoblins, Beasties, Spookies etc) comes this Roger Corman-produced effort, directed by Bettina Hirsch, who worked as an editor on Gremlins. This was her only directing gig, which doesn't bode well.
- From the look of the cover I'm expecting a second-rate Gremlins knockoff with an emphasis on sex and toilet humour. Although the PG rating tells me any sex will probably be more implied than shown. Boo-urns!
- They're not even trying to disguise how much of a ripoff this is. Arnold sounds just like Gizmo.
- I wonder how much they spent on creature design for this movie? My guess is $20 tops.
- Alright I get it now. They're proudly flaunting the fact this is a Gremlins ripoff (look for all the in-jokes - Gizmo in a newspaper ad, licence plate that says OHGIZMO etc).
- Veteran comedian Korman sure is hamming it up as Cecil Watterman, and Alix Elias, who plays Cecil's wife, is just plain annoying.
- I bet Robert Picado (STAR TREK VOYAGER) looks back on this movie as a career highlight. Or not.
- As I suspected, the only T&A is pretty tame (panty flashes). And no gore to speak of. Those two things would probably save this movie. Okay, they wouldn't save it, but maybe make it more bearable.

Overall thoughts: Dumb. So very dumb. Take Gremlins, remove Joe Dante's stylish directing, replace the monsters with cheap, annoying knockoffs, switch the talented cast for nobodies and hammy cartoonish acting... well, you get the picture. The best thing is if you haven't seen Munchies, you don't need to. I've seen it and I can safely tell you to avoid it.

SUMMER OF 87 #7 - I Was A Teenage Vampire

The cover of my VHS copy of I Was a Teenage Vampire

10am, Day 2:

I Was a Teenage Vampire
Director: Jimmy Huston
Starring: Robert Sean Leonard, Evan Mirand, LeeAnne Locken, Cheryl Pollak, Cecilia Peck
Format: VHS (Filmpac)

Plot: In Houston, teenager Jeremy Capello (Leonard) is a normal middle-class boy, who lives with his parents and has Ralph (Mirand) as his best friend. He has a crush on Darla Blake (Pollak), but he is shy and does not date her. He works making deliveries for a supermarket and is seduced by his sexy client Nora (Peck). While getting it on with her, Jeremy is transformed into a vampire. His friend Ralph is mistakenly chased by two weird vampire hunters, Prof Leopold McCarthy and his assistant Grimsdyke, who believe he is a creature of the night. Meanwhile, Jeremy learns how to use his new powers with the help of Modoc, and falls definitively in love for Darla.

- This movie is listed on IMDB as My Best Friend is a Vampire, which I think is the US title. Here in New Zealand, and in Australia, it got retitled as I Was a Teenage Vampire.
- Five seconds in and this is already funnier and more entertaining than Teen Wolf Too.
- Hey, it's a very young Robert Sean Leonard, who plays Dr James Wilson on the TV series House.
- Great soundtrack so far - Blondie and Pat Benatar. Nice!
- All the best 80s teen comedies are about the teen male protagonist wanting to get laid. Isn't that the biggest motivation for any teenaged guy?
- This was director Jimmy Huston's follow up to Final Exam, a derivative-but-interesting slasher I reviewed in June last year.
- Darla (Cheryl Pollak) has that Molly Ringwald "hot but geeky" look.
- A couple of familiar faces in key roles: David Warner (Sark/Master Control in TRON) as vampire hunter McCarthy, and Rene Auburjonois (Clayton Runnymede Endicott III on the TV series BENSON) as vampire Modoc.
- Wow, a young and slim Kathy Bates (MISERY) in a small part. I hardly recognised her.
- And the soundtrack keeps on rocking 80s style with the pre-requisite Oingo Boingo song. According to IMDB they had songs used on 20 movies in the 1980s (the most well known being the Weird Science theme song).
- Most of the vampire gags are pretty standard (no reflection in mirror, aversion to garlic, hunger for meat etc), but as teen rom-coms go this is fairly well written and quite fun.
- "The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades". Another great 80s song. I'm really digging this soundtrack.
- Two funny scenes: Misdirected mind powers in the punk club, and Jeremy's parents mistaking his vampirism for him being gay.

Overall thoughts: I enjoyed I Was A Teenage Vampire. It's a fun little 80s teenage comedy. Sure, it's not going to make it onto anyone's favourite movies list, but for this kind of movie it's entertaining enough. Not out-and-out hilarious, but a movie that'll make you laugh in places and put a smile on your face. It also has a kickass 80s soundtrack. Comparing it to Teen Wolf Too, a movie with similar subject matter that I watched yesterday, this movie is a million times better - the acting, the writing, the cinematography, everything.

SUMMER OF 87 #5: Teen Wolf Too

 The cover of my VHS copy of Teen Wolf Too

 

7pm, Day 1:

Teen Wolf Too
Director: Christopher Leitch
Starring: Jason Bateman, Kim Darby, John Astin
Format: VHS (Filmpac)

Plot: Todd Howard (Bateman), the cousin of Scott Howard (played by Michael J Fox in the first film) has recently been accepted into Hamilton University on a full athletic scholarship on the recommendation of Coach Bobby Finstock (Paul Sand), who was Scott's basketball coach at Beacontown High. Finstock's hope is that Todd has the family genes to become a werewolf and turn Finstock's new struggling boxing team into championship contenders. Todd is horrified by his "family affliction", but eventually gives in to it and finds fame after winning his first boxing fight. With it comes girls, top grades etc, but he starts losing his friends. Can Todd relearn to be humble while also winning the big championship fight coming up?

- After a break for dinner, we're back into it with the third of four "part two" sequels I'll be watching during this marathon. I guess 1987 was a big year for sequels.
- Disclosure: Of course I've seen the original Teen Wolf (1985), which from what I remember was pretty good for an 80s teen comedy. I'm also aware MTV made a Teen Wolf TV series a couple of years ago, which I haven't seen, and because it's MTV I have no desire to see it.
- So apparently Michael J Fox didn't sign on for this sequel partly because he didn't want to go through all the makeup again.
- Bateman and Fox are of course connected by Jason's sister Justine, who played Fox's sister on TV's Family Ties.
- The support cast in this is pretty good and includes two actors whose most famous roles were in the 60s (John Astin, Gomez in the Addams Family, and Kim Darby, who was so brilliant in the original True Grit).
- Tim Kring, who wrote this screenplay, went on to have more success writing about people with hidden powers. He wrote and produced the TV series Heroes.
- So far this movie isn't offering anything very original, but the song and dance number to Do You Love Me was fun.
- You can't get much more 80s-centric than a soundtrack containing songs by both Oingo Boingo and Real Life. "Send Me an Angel" is a weird choice for a "studying hard for exam tomorrow" montage though. Unless it morphs into a "getting it on with the girlfriend" montage. Touche.
- Semi-interesting trivia: Estee Chandler, who plays love interest Nicki, only made one more movie after this, but was visual effects producer on Team America: World Police.
- Well, I saw that "twist" involving Kim Darby's character coming a mile away.

Overall thoughts: That was pretty bad. I mean, there's nothing overly offensive about Teen Wolf Too. It's just unnecessary. If you've seen the first movie, there's absolutely no need for you to see the sequel. All they did was change basketball to boxing and substitute Michael J Fox for the less-charismatic Jason Bateman. The end result is a poor imitation of the original and a movie that I'd recommend bypassing.

31 Nights of Terror #4 - The Toxic Avenger (1984)

The Toxic Avenger (1984)
Director: Lloyd Kaufman
Starring: Mitchell Cohen, Andree Maranda
Format: DVD (Troma)

- Alright, so this is the Director's Cut DVD. Not sure what that means, other than there are a few "deleted scenes" in the special features.
- Special DVD intro by Lloyd Kaufman, Mr Troma himself. As he says, this movie is what "built the house of Troma".
- Disclosure: I'm not really a fan of Troma movies. I prefer my horror a little less, well, silly I guess. I enjoy Class of Nuke 'Em High and a couple of others, but most Troma flicks do nothing for me.
- More disclosure: I haven't seen any of the sequels, and it's been close to 25 years since I saw this one. I remember quite liking it back in the day and I think it was probably one of the first gorey movies I ever saw.
- Digging the totally gnarly 80s soundtrack.
- Toking sit ups. That seemed so badass when I was 13.
- Nothing says 80s (or 70s) like naked breasts with tanlines.
- The Toxie transformation effects are actually pretty decent for such a low budget.
- Bad, bad overdubbing when Toxie speaks. Was that in the original, or is it some Director's Cut meddling?
- I am not surprised to read on IMDB that actor Pat Ryan, who played Mayor Belgoody, died at the age of 44. Boy was he one obese dude.
- Hey look, a one-armed bandit!
- Nice head-crushing scene. I guess that was the one it mentions on the cover of the DVD?
- A lot of the humor is lame, but I love the montage where Toxie does good deeds, like opening a jar for an old lady.
- Gratuitous car chase/crash sequence for no reason.

Overall thoughts: After a rough couple of days at work, tonight I needed some good old fashioned escapism. To switch my brain off and watch something that didn't take any thinking. So what better than a Troma flick right? As I mentioned above, I haven't watched The Toxic Avenger since the late 80s. I liked it when I saw it way back then, but how did it hold up to the test of time? Well, it was okay. A lot of the humor fell flat, but overall it's got a certain low budget, underground charm to it. Definitely a movie that appealed more to 13-year-old me (lots of boobs, toilet humor and gore) than 36-year-old me, but I'm glad I revisited it.

31 Nights of Terror #1 - Dance of the Dead (2008)

Dance of the Dead (2008)
Director: Gregg Bishop
Starring: Jared Kusnitz, Greyson Chadwick, Chandler Darby
Format: DVD

Observations:
- Hey look, a recent horror flick with a cast of "teens" that aren't fake-looking models. I already like this movie.
- The realistic casting and well-written high school hijinks gives this a vibe of Freaks and Geeks crossed with Animal House crossed with Dazed and Confused.
- That is, until the zombies show up. Then it only gets better!
- Braaaaains!
- Oops, Mitch lost his head.
- I see on IMDB that male lead Jared Kusnitz is also in Otis, another movie I'll be watching during 31 Nights of Terror 2011.
- Holy jumping zombies Batman!
- A car cigarette lighter as a weapon. "Don't move or I'll scorch you!".
- Zombie carjackers. I guess all the usual rules are out the window.
- I can honestly say that is the first time I have seen anyone do pro wrestling moves on a zombie. Awesome!
- I guess the saying "music soothes the savage beast" is true.
- Coach Keel is officially my favourite character in this.
- What prom would be complete without the band playing an 80s power ballad, right? "Shadows of the Night" by Pat Benatar - rockin' choice!
- Hey look, it's Mitch.
- Zombie sex looks painful.
- Cool guys (and gals) don't look back at explosions.

Overall thoughts:
I'm going to make this short. Dance of the Dead is a worthy entrant into the Zombie Horror Comedy Hall of Fame, alongside the likes of Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland and Return of the Living Dead. It does the simple things well. Realistic characters you care about. Comedy that is actually funny. Moments of suspense and gore. Good zombie effects. Effective camera work. It ticks all the boxes, making for a fun watch. And a great way to get the ball rolling on 31 Nights of Terror 2011!

July 15 - Slither (2006)

Slither (2006)
Director: James Gunn
Format: DVD

This is one of those movies I've seen around a lot over the past five years and have always been intrigued by the great cover art, but our paths just haven't crossed. I bought it on DVD a few weeks back and tonight popped it in seeking a fun, popcorn movie night for me and the wife.

And boy we weren't disappointed! What a great, fun movie. It's a clear homage to the scifi movies of the 50s and 60s, with lots of humour and gore. There's so many influences it'd be hard to list them all, but the best I can do is describe it as Night of the Creeps meets The Blob meets Night of the Living Dead meets Tremors.

A comet crashes to earth and some kind of slug-like creature emerges to wreak havoc on a small rural American town. The colourfully-named Grant Grant (Michael Rooker, HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER) is infected and begins changing into a blob-like creature that feeds off stray animals. Determined to stop him are his wife Starla (Elizabeth Banks, SPIDERMAN) and her childhood flame, now the town sheriff, Bill (Nathan Fillion, SERENITY). But soon thousands of alien slugs are scurrying around town, slithering into the mouths of people and turning them into zombies.

Rooker is as great as ever, Banks does a good job as the attractive damsel in distress and I actually liked Fillion in this. I haven't seen Firefly or Serenity, but I find him gratingly smarmy in his TV series CASTLE. Here his dry humor works with the outrageous things happening around him. The highlight of the acting is definitely the performance of Gregg Henry (RAISING CAIN) as the weaselly town mayor.

Writer/director James Gunn (the screenwriter on the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake) has to be commended for making this so much fun without making it overtly silly. Sure, there's some wacky stuff that goes on, but mostly it's played straight with moments of humour. There's no T&A, but oodles of gore (a man gets split in half, a woman explodes etc).

All in all this is one of the most fun movie nights I've had in a while.

June 21 - Door to Door (1985)

The cover of my VHS copy of Door to Door

Door to Door (1985)
Director: Patrick Bailey
Format: VHS (Media)

I have a soft spot for 80s comedies. Even those that I don't necessarily find overly-funny (Meatballs 3: Summer Job, Summer School, Up the Creek) usually have a certain charm to them (and quite often some nice T&A to go with the cheese factor).

I bought Door to Door primarily because it's quite rare. I had low expectations going into it. But there's a reason this one isn't out on DVD - it's a snoozefest. Not only does the comedy fall flat, but it's all done in a G-rated way, so there's not even any toilet humour or sleaziness to fall back on.

The biggest problem is the plot. Arliss Howard (LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK) plays a down-on-his-luck travelling salesman who pairs up with a veteran of the trade (Ron Leibman, UP THE ACADEMY) to hit the road and try to sell vacuum cleaners.

The bulk of the running time consists of these two visiting people and trying to make a sale. Then Howard's character falls for a girl (Jane Kaczmarek, the mom on Malcolm in the Middle) who is the niece of an elderly woman his partner is trying to swindle. Usually that would lead to some kind of zany hijinks, but not so here. It's all very run of the mill.

Arliss Howard is likeable enough, but Leibman's character is a con-artist and not even a likeable one at that. I didn't end up caring about any of the characters, which is always a problem. And sorry, but I couldn't look at Jane Kaczmarek without thinking of her Malcolm in the Middle character (one of the most unlikable TV parts of all time), which is another problem when her character in Door to Door is supposed to be a sweet, innocent love interest.

I don't say this often, but I really do wish I could have the hour and a half back that I spent watching this dreck.

About the only interesting thing that came out of watching it was when I was reading through its credits on IMDB and noticed a strange, unexplained connection with Antonio Margheriti's 1980 gutmuncher Cannibal Apocalypse. Five or six of the cast of Door to Door (who are in mainly small roles) also acted together in that earlier cannibalfest. There's no connection between the directors, writers or producers of the two movies that I could find and you couldn't get more different films in terms of genres and content matter, so how did this happen? Beats me.

Anyway, if you ever come across Door to Door, do yourself a favour and skip it.

CORMANIA 2011 #11 - Little Shop of Horrors

3.20pm - Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
Our King's role: Director and producer
Cast: Jonathon Haze (IT CONQUERED THE WORLD), Jackie Joseph (GREMLINS), Mel Welles (ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS), Dick Miller (BUCKET OF BLOOD), Jack Nicholson (THE SHINING).

Plot: Seymour (Haze) is a klutz who works in a skid row florist shop. He can't seem to do anything right, until he brings in a strange plant that grows after eating human blood. He names it Audrey 2, after the daughter (Joseph) of the store owner (Welles). It begins attracting onlookers and bolstering the store's business, making Seymour more popular than ever. But he has to keep feeding Audrey 2 human flesh to keep it alive, and sooner or later that's going to be a problem.

Observations:
- Full disclosure: I have never seen this version. I've seen the 1980s musical remake, but not this one.
- Animation opening to show "skid row". I guess it was the cheap option. Apparently this movie was made in two days, so plenty of shortcuts had to be taken.
- Dick Miller on screen right away, seguing us nicely from Chopping Mall.
- Mel Welles is great as the harangued shop owner, providing most of the early laughs.
- I'm a huge fan of the Gremlins movies, but up until now didn't realise that the old couple (Dick Miller and Jackie Joseph) in Gremlins had appeared together in this film. It's always great to find out about hidden homages like that.
- "Feeeeeed me".
- Ah, the famous Jack Nicholson appearance as Wilbur Force, the sadomasochist dental patient. Good stuff.
- Just noticed on IMDB that Audrey 2's voice was provided by screenwriter Charles Griffith. Another similarity to our last movie (where writer and director Jim Wynorski voiced the killbots).
- So many great, wacky characters. The old lady whose relatives keep dying is fun, as is Seymour's hypocondriac mother.
- Hey, I guess you really are what you eat.

Overall thoughts: What a fun way to finish this marathon. I had read enough over the years to know that this original Little Shop of Horrors wasn't a musical, but I was also expecting it to be lacking in the comedy department. Boy was I wrong. This one's funny from start to finish, with great, quirky characters. Coming a year after Bucket of Blood, it's in the same vein, centring around a bumbling klutz who gains popularity by accident (through art in BoB and the plant in this one) and has to kill to keep that popularity going. Black comedy at its best!

CORMANIA 2011 #2 - Ga-s-s-s

1.53pm - Gas-s-s-s, or It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save it (1970)
Our King's role: Director/producer
Cast: Bob Corff (FRIGHT NIGHT), Bud Cort (the MASH movie), Talia Shore (ROCKY, GODFATHER series), Cindy Williams (AMERICAN GRAFFITI), Ben Vereen (ZOOBILEE ZOO).

Plot: A deadly gas kills off anyone under 25. A young hardcase anti-authoritarian type (Corff) and his girl (Elaine Giftos) find that life under these new circumstances isn't to their liking and hit the road. They run into a fellow group of survivors (early roles for Cort, Shore, Williams and Vereen) and continue travelling across country, encountering various situations, including a rock concert, a town run by a group of deluded American Football players, a wacky doctor, a golf course community run by a cart-driving gang, some bizarre American Indians and The Oracle. They end up at a pueblo commune and the marauding, dune buggie-driving American Footballers show up before a wacky finale.

Observations:
- We open with badly-drawn animation about a gas escaping from a nuclear research facility in Alaska. This is going to be an odd flick.
- Great 60s rock soundtrack. Groovy man!
- Amidst all the wacky humour, a shot of downtown Dallas with empty streets and an elderly couple dead in each others' arms is actually quite eerie.
- Ah, Cindy Williams how cute and perky you were.
- I can't look at Ben Vereen without thinking about him wearing animal ears, whiskers and a big ol' grin on Zoobilee Zoo. Haven't seen that show since I was a kid, but it creeped me out back then.
- Why are they shouting out the names of big screen movie stars while pretending to have a western shoot out? Wait, they really died? I'm confused.
- Hey, there's a cameo by well-known anti-war musician Country Joe McDonald of Country Joe and the Fish. The guitarist from that band, Barry Melton, is the man responsible for the soundtrack to this film.
- Free love awash with psychadelic colours and patterns. No 1960s/early 70s hippy movie would be complete without it.
- Gratuitous dune buggy chase scene!
- The one guy has a massive machine gun mounted on top of his dune buggy but never fires it. Lame!
- Gratuitous golf cart chase scene!
- Okay, the golf ball attack is pretty awesome and fun.
- "What was that, a bomb?", "No, it sounded more ironic than that". Uh, okay.
- What a far out ending man.

Overall thoughts: Wow. That was something. What that something is, I'm not quite sure. The main characters were likeable, the concept pretty fun (I'm a big fan of post-apocalyptic films, no matter what the genre) and it was fairly well shot, but a lot of the humour fell flat for me. At times it felt like an extended episode of The Monkees, if The Monkees had featured a few more adult-natured jokes. It could be that I'm from the wrong generation or that the humour hasn't dated well, but I only really laughed once or twice. I'd like to think there's some kind of message at the heart of this pretentious movie, but I'm damned if I know what it is. In saying all that, this isn't a bad movie per se - if you're looking for something quirky it definitely fits that bill.